Martin Davison

Newcastle, UK 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 #NUFC

[Newcastle United @NUFC]

We are delighted to announce that Lewis Hall has signed a new long-term contract at St. James' Park 🙌

The 22-year-old has become a key part of the first team squad in recent seasons, making 107 appearances since first arriving at his boyhood club in August 2023.

[dan 🪩 CW: Gintama #NewcastleAreBack @T3QUILASUNS3T_]

TELL THEMMM JAISSLEEEEE 😭❤️😭❤️😭❤️

[Newcastle United @NUFC]

We have completed an agreement to purchase the Woolsington Hall estate as the site for a new world-class training complex.

A scheme totalling £190m will see 260 acres of land carefully restored, with a view to the men’s first team moving in for the 2029/30 season ⤵️

[Paddy Power @paddypower]

Villa and Newcastle having to sell their best players this summer.

Those financial rules really starting to pay off...

18+ GambleAware

[Paddy Power @paddypower]

Another disastrous summer window for Newcastle.

Who exactly is the genius behind their transfer strategy?

18+ GambleAware

[George Caulkin @GeorgeCaulkin]

EXCL chat w/ David Hopkinson on "#NUFC 2.0"

🤘"Rock star" Jaissle
🏆 "Extraordinary" Howe
👶"young,hungry,relentless" new team
💳 club needs to pay "credit card bill"
©️ Aim to "consistently & credibly compete"

TONS more... Free to read

https://t.co/ydjB5OATdq

[Newcastle United @NUFC]

We can announce that Eddie Howe has informed the club of his decision to step down as head coach.

The club has accepted Eddie’s decision and would like to thank him for his extraordinary contribution. 🖤�We can announce that Eddie Howe has informed the club of his decision to step down as head coach.

The club has accepted Eddie’s decision and would like to thank him for his extraordinary contribution. 🖤�We can announce that Eddie Howe has informed the club of his decision to step down as head coach.

The club has accepted Eddie’s decision and would like to thank him for his extraordinary contribution. 🖤�We can announce that Eddie Howe has informed the club of his decision to step down as head coach.

The club has accepted Eddie’s decision and would like to thank him for his extraordinary contribution. 🖤🤍

[Martin Davison @MartinDavison]

RT @theberrypub: Dear @NUFC

Can you please make an official statement to inform us that Eddy Howe has left and maybe show him the respec…

[Andy⚫️⚪️ @AndyNufc48]

He left, not sacked, so the club don’t have to pay him. Even until his last day, he had nufc at the forefront of his decision. I love the bloke. I always will. Thank you Eddie Howe.

[Toon Polls @ToonPolls]

Sorry, not having any of the anti-Bruno posts. That guy has consistently bust his balls for us for 4 years, and on multiple occasions single handedly carried that team.

There is something about the lack of progress in this “project” that is making these players want to leave. Isak, Gordon, Tonali and now probably Bruno gone within 12 months. That is alarming.

Bruno will always be an #NUFC legend in my eyes.

[Lewis Stratford @lewisstratford]

Great video on tiktok from this lad, who talks about what a cancer Fabrizio is on the game!

[𝗧𝗼𝗼𝗻 𝗧𝗮𝗸𝗲𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿 #𝗡𝗨𝗙𝗖 @ToonTakeover_]

This is the greatest video I've ever seen re: Fabrizio Romano.

A complete breakdown of how he operates.

How he went from a "sports journalist" reporting genuine rumours/links, to orchestrating and manipulating some of the biggest deals in Football.

[Martin Davison @MartinDavison]

@jordancronin_ @LiamJKennedy23 Trying to get to the bottom of it. Like this is the first time it’s happened 😂

[Toon Polls @ToonPolls]

I have been asked to run this poll countless times this season.

I promised I would run it once, at the end of the season, so we had all the facts.

So….whilst the club seem to have backed him to lead us into next season, where do YOU stand on Eddie Howe’s future? #NUFC

[A View From Yorkshire @models_by_Russ]

Dear Prime Minister & Home Secretary,

I hope this letter finds you well, fully caffeinated, and in possession of a calculator.

I’m writing with what I believe is a modest, fiscally responsible proposal. I understand the Government is offering up to £40,000 to certain individuals to voluntarily leave the United Kingdom. First of all — bold strategy. Nothing says “strong borders” quite like a cashback scheme.

Now, I regret to inform you that I am, in fact, a fully tax-paying, law-abiding British citizen. I know — awkward. I appreciate this may disqualify me from the premium exit package, but I’m willing to negotiate.

I would like to formally apply for £35,000 to leave.

You see, unlike some applicants, I haven’t broken any laws to get here. I didn’t arrive by dinghy. I didn’t require processing, housing, or legal appeals. I’ve actually been funding the whole operation through PAYE for years — which I believe makes me a loyal shareholder in this enterprise.

Given that you’re prepared to offer £40,000 for someone to depart voluntarily after entering illegally, I feel £35,000 for someone who’s been here legally all along represents excellent value for money. Think of it as a “Buy British, Get One Gone” discount.

For £35,000 I will:
   •   Leave quietly.
   •   Not require a press conference.
   •   Not demand a diversity officer to wave me off.
   •   Even carry my own suitcase to the airport.

I may also tweet a polite thank-you note on departure, praising the efficiency of the scheme.

Frankly, it feels like I’ve misunderstood how incentives work in modern Britain. All these years I thought obeying the law, paying taxes, and contributing to society were the winning strategy. Turns out the real pro-move is to arrive unlawfully and wait for a loyalty bonus.

Who knew?

While British families are juggling rent, energy bills, and the weekly food shop like contestants on a dystopian game show, it’s reassuring to know the Treasury has located a spare £40,000 per head for voluntary goodbyes.

May I ask — is there a points card? Ten years of National Insurance contributions and I get a free exit bonus? If so, I believe I’m overdue.

In the spirit of fairness and fiscal responsibility, I am not even asking for the full £40,000. I’m trimming £5,000 off to help balance the books. That’s the kind of responsible budgeting I was raised on.

If successful, I promise to:
   •   Leave via a scheduled flight (economy is fine).
   •   Not stage a protest on the runway.
   •   And refrain from re-entering on a small boat to see if I qualify twice.

All I ask is equal treatment. If departure is now a funded career pathway, I would very much like to submit my CV.

Yours in hopeful relocation,
A slightly confused taxpayer

[Martin Davison @MartinDavison]

RT @StanCollymore: A lot to unpack.

Firstly, he's under contract, one he willingly signed.

Secondly, and I've experienced this as have a…

[Toon Polls @ToonPolls]

This is the last time I’ll ask.

You’ve done amazing to fight against a paid campaign.

It’s 50/50 and I know they will come strong in the last hour too.

One last time.

Please RT this and let’s make sure Alan Shearer is crowned champion.

Setting a target of 150 RT’s.

#NUFC

[Sky Bet @SkyBet]

⬇️ VOTE FOR THE WINNER OF 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐔𝐋𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐄 ⬇️

[Martin Davison @MartinDavison]

@lee_ryder That’s a good start, after that transfer window.

[Martin Davison @MartinDavison]

@SkySportsNews We can’t pay 70m for a cup tied player. Surely if he plays the deal is off 🤦🏻‍♂️😅