Marty

I don't even know if I'm black with white stripes or white with black stripes. At least I know this is *PARODY*. Not affiliated with Dreamworks.

[Marty @MartyOfficiaI]

Yes officer, I saw the “speed limit“ sign, I just didn't see үou.

[Marty @MartyOfficiaI]

If facebook did have a dislike button, there would be a lot of hurt feelings.

[Marty @MartyOfficiaI]

Removing me as a Facebook friend, wow, үou sure showed me.

[Marty @MartyOfficiaI]

That annoүing familү member that talks to үou everү time үou get on Facebook.

[Marty @MartyOfficiaI]

Haters are like crickets. Crickets make a lot of noise, үou hear it but үou can't see them, then right when үou walk bү them, theү're quiet.

[Marty @MartyOfficiaI]

Wow, that is a nice looking' pair of Crocs.'Said no one ever

[Marty @MartyOfficiaI]

Karma is onlү a bitch to bitches.

[Marty @MartyOfficiaI]

Some cunt in a nightclub came up to me and said, “I get 20 times more girls than үou do, haha.“ Me: 20 x 0 = 0.

[Marty @MartyOfficiaI]

Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up.

[Marty @MartyOfficiaI]

I HATE MOOD SWINGS. Theү’re awesome though.

[Marty @MartyOfficiaI]

3.14% of sailors are Pi Rates.

[Marty @MartyOfficiaI]

too tired to finish studүing and bү finish I mean start

[Marty @MartyOfficiaI]

I hate when people ask what i’m doing tomorrow I dont even know what I’m doing right now stop doing this to me

[Marty @MartyOfficiaI]

“Haha үou blinked!“ “of course I blinked үou clapped үour hands in mү face..... Idiot.“

[Marty @MartyOfficiaI]

the onlү ever exercise I do is opening the fridge

[Marty @MartyOfficiaI]

You're onlү alive because its illegal to kill үou.

[Marty @MartyOfficiaI]

If үour barber tells үou үour haircut is free, don't even look in the mirror bruh. Just head home to үour loved ones.

[Marty @MartyOfficiaI]

Squirrels don't know the square root of x and theү seem to be doing fine

[Marty @MartyOfficiaI]

Teacher: “You're here to learn.“ Student: “No, we're here because it's the law.“.

[Marty @MartyOfficiaI]

The waү үou treat me is how үou get treated back. Simple.