mary

[Jason, ex Inferis @benedictsred]

Fucked that there are a million songs about love but only one about baking me a cake as fast as you can

[mary @MaryCainn]

If I was a potato chip bag filler I would simply fill the bag with chips instead of air.

[mary @MaryCainn]

Last night I heard a Chick-fil-A employee say “fuck” and I don’t remember the last time I felt that kind of excitement

[brie @_cestlabrie]

“Who wears the pants in the relationship” outdated. Everyone wears pants. “Who wears the docs, who wears the crocs”. Wonderful. Not based on gender stereotypes. Implies someone is emo

[mary @MaryCainn]

Being a female and going on dates is so much fun. Like am I about to meet the love of my life or the next Netflix Serial Killer feature??? Who knows !!Stay tuned!

[JP @jpbrammer]

snow is both beautiful and a burden and in that way I relate to it a lot

[anna ◡̈ @notablyanna]

does anyone want to be in love so we can split rent

[mary @MaryCainn]

Why would I go to therapy when I can just listen to Driver’s License on repeat??

[~ @viagrafaII]

wtf is an open relationship ??? Bitch I’ll kill u

[mary @MaryCainn]

All I do is the worky worky worky and my bills just takey takey takey

[mary @MaryCainn]

@ohsmileykylie Luv u bruh. ok that’s enough nice stuff for one day

[mary @MaryCainn]

If you steal from a small business, you automatically go to hell. Sorry. I don’t make the rules.

[The Daily Show @TheDailyShow]

Same energy

[mary @MaryCainn]

The sexual tension between me and selling everything I own, moving to a small house on a field in Ireland, and disconnecting from reality

[girlpilled @upstreamculotte]

adding a man to Close Friends

[ak ⋆.˚✮🎧✮˚.⋆ @ak_themystic444]

I cannot