Mary Decker

loves Jesus, loves people. former cross-cultural worker, now US-based. listening and learning.

[Mary Decker @MaryD_NC]

@RevChrisDavis anything?

[Mary Decker @MaryD_NC]

@lauratremaine once. when about to go into overtime.

[Mary Decker @MaryD_NC]

@RevChrisDavis praying for Rachael, you, and the kids🙏

[Mary Decker @MaryD_NC]

@RevChrisDavis praying for healing and peace for her and all of you! so good that something was discovered!

[Mary Decker @MaryD_NC]

@RevChrisDavis praying for Rachael and all of you.

[Mary Decker @MaryD_NC]

@TheAtlantic trying so hard to cancel a gift subscription, instead you automatically renewed it. I don't want to renew, the only option is contacting customer service, and you've made it impossible. Not responding to emails. "No support agents available" to take my call.

[Diane Langberg, PhD @DianeLangberg]

The mourner tells you what they feel and think. You do not teach.  You listen; you bear witness; you read them; you reassure because you understand the nature of grief. “Always take your cues from them. By instinct they are leading, in patience you are serving.”  Walter Wangerin

[Diane Langberg, PhD @DianeLangberg]

God longs for you to know deeply that He knit you together, He purposed your existence, and He has bent down, become little and known abuse and been trashed for your sake.
He knows.

[Diane Langberg, PhD @DianeLangberg]

When working with ongoing trauma, the focus is not so much on recovery or healing as it is on managing, containing, working together, surviving with dignity, and protecting those things which are valued and can be protected.

[Diane Langberg, PhD @DianeLangberg]

An attempt to do typical trauma recovery, in the midst of ongoing trauma is the equivalent of undressing someone who is still standing in a life-threatening blizzard.  You simply put the traumatized at greater risk of harm.

[Diane Langberg, PhD @DianeLangberg]

For the victim of ongoing trauma, to put down their guard and reflect and feel is to fail to see the next abusive event coming. Impossible. Our assessment powers as humans are tremendously compromised when we are simply trying to dodge the next blow.

[Diane Langberg, PhD @DianeLangberg]

In your struggles with your abuse, fight to remember that God’s people act sometimes in ways that tell you lies about who He is. He is and always will be the God of the millstone for those who abuse and a tender Shepherd for those abused.

[Diane Langberg, PhD @DianeLangberg]

Trauma stories do not first come out with a beginning, middle and an end. They come out in broken pieces, disordered and perhaps unclear.

[Diane Langberg, PhD @DianeLangberg]

When you feel overwhelmed in exposing truth, remember this: people are sacred, created in the image of God. Systems are not. They are only worth the people in them and the people they serve. And people are to be treated, whether one or many, the way Jesus Christ treated people.

[Red Letter Christians @RedLetterXians]

Head over to the RLC blog this Juneteenth to read "God is Justice," an excerpt from "All God's Children" by @imTerenceLester (published by @ivpress/@TaramBurns4).

https://t.co/Sf4X3pPVAt

[Diane Langberg, PhD @DianeLangberg]

Traumas suggest we are worthless and do not matter. Talking tells the truth and gives dignity because the story matters as does its impact.

[Diane Langberg, PhD @DianeLangberg]

Choosing words, saying words and having someone listen and honor them helps to strengthen the survivor of abuse to face his/her feelings. It also connects them to a caring person they can then trust to bear the terrifying feelings with them.

[Bob Hamp @bobhamp]

People think the tell tale signs of abuse are bruises and downcast countenance
This is why people don’t see

The signs that someone is being abused are more like:

People turn their back on them
They are blamed for relational problems
They lose friends and support

[Diane Langberg, PhD @DianeLangberg]

If you are going to enter into the suffering of those who have been traumatized, you have to learn how to sit with and listen to fear, anger and great grief with compassion and understanding.  You will also have to learn how to do it for far longer than you prefer.

[Diane Langberg, PhD @DianeLangberg]

If any doubt creeps in when listening to a victim tell their story of abuse about someone you think you know to be fine, it is easy for the hearer to lean on his or her own capacity for self-deception and talk themselves out of considering the truth of what has been told.