Mary

[Mary @MaryRT87]

My coworker didn't show up today and my boss and I were like when should we be worried and then I remembered that he washed his phone and couldn't even communicate with us if he wanted to. So I'm not worrying until tomorrow.

[Mary @MaryRT87]

I office with men and I just had to tell them that Selena was a real person and not just a character in a Jennifer Lopez movie.

[Mary @MaryRT87]

If I was SGA, I would just fall in a funnier way with even more exaggerated expressions.

[Mary @MaryRT87]

Every week my coworker tries to get me interested in someone named Cleetus McFarland by telling me who was on his show. This week he said there was someone named T-Pain on there and had I ever heard of him.

[Mary @MaryRT87]

I watch that Hudson Williams peleton ad every time.

[Eddie Radosevich @Eddie_Rado]

Yeah we might be 50th in education but we figured out how to get the NBA to rig the entire league and turn the Thunder into a dynasty. Should sell online courses about it if we're being honest. More on that in weeks to come.

[Mary @MaryRT87]

Every day my coworker will say something completely crazy. Today's topic was a man can't wear a 12.5 shoe size and has to wear a 13. His reasoning: a 12.5 didn't exist at Macy's in 2008.

[Oklahoma Softball @OU_Softball]

Back-to-Back SEC Regular Season Champs 🏆

Our 14th consecutive season with either a conference regular season or tourney title ☝️

[Reid Wiseman @astro_reid]

Only one chance in this lifetime…

Like watching sunset at the beach from the most foreign seat in the cosmos, I couldn’t resist a cell phone video of Earthset. You can hear the shutter on the Nikon as @Astro_Christina is hammering away on 3-shot brackets and capturing those exceptional Earthset photos through the 400mm lens. @AstroVicGlover was in window 3 watching with @Astro_Jeremy next to him.

I could barely see the Moon through the docking hatch window but the iPhone was the perfect size to catch the view…this is uncropped, uncut with 8x zoom which is quite comparable to the view of the human eye. Enjoy.

[Charlotte Clymer 🇺🇦 @cmclymer]

Every woman willingly entering Trump's orbit:

"I'm different. I'm not like those other women. I get Trump. I worship him. He doesn't hate women. He hates disloyalty. Those other women weren't willing to commit."

Every woman exiting Trump's orbit:

"Well... fuck. He actually hates women."

[Mary @MaryRT87]

There's a detour near work and now everyone has to drive right by my coworker's house and everyone has been offering him landscape advice when they stop by our office. 😂😂😂

[isa ☁️ @loverhaunted]

i’m sorry for people who don’t like cats because they’ll never know what it feels like to call your cat from the bedroom and listening to it meowing as it runs across the apartment to you

[Mary @MaryRT87]

I bought $40 tickets to Eric Church and these are $40 people in the parking lot.

[Mary @MaryRT87]

@TravisSkol Well we know he’s never publicly denounced anything he’s done or he wouldn’t have gotten the interview.

[Mary @MaryRT87]

Our car dealership has a woman running the service department and it’s the best ran place I’ve ever been to.

[Mary @MaryRT87]

@iowahawkblog As an Oklahoman, we should really be split up into the Midwest, South, and West.

[Tim Alberta @TimAlberta]

Okay so,

1) an American citizen exercises his First Amendment right to peaceably assemble and his Second Amendment right to bear arms, out of apparent concern that a tyrannical federal government is violating basic protections afforded under the Constitution

2) after coming to the aid of an unarmed woman who's been shoved to the ground by a masked federal agent, the citizen -- impaired by pepper spray, holding nothing but a cell phone -- is dragged to the ground by a group of other masked agents

3) during the scuffle, shortly after one masked agent removes the weapon from the restrained citizen's person, several other masked agents open fire, unloading 10 shots from close range and killing the unarmed citizen

4) despite video evidence, a spokesman for the federal government says the citizen approached agents with a gun, provoked a violent confrontation, and planned to "massacre" law enforcement

You really want to defend this? Go ahead. Just know, you look like an absolute fool.

[The Resonance @Partisan_12]

“We do not want to be rich like Americans. Look how greedy they are, even trying to invade their friends. We would not sell ourselves. We know what happened to Indigenous people in Alaska and Native Americans. Their land was taken, and they were not treated well.”

— Greenlandic politician Tillie Martinussen

[Josh Callaway @JoshMCallaway]

Caleb Williams of Oklahoma with the incredible touchdown to tie the game

Caleb Williams of USC with the backbreaking interception in overtime

[Mayor David Holt @davidfholt]

Democracy has added dimensions in a state like Oklahoma, the home of 39 sovereign Native American tribes. I’m about to drop my Osage Nation ballot in the mail.

Interestingly, the tribes run their elections essentially the same as is proposed by State Question 836. All the voters get to see all of the candidates and all of the candidates have to face all of the voters. Everyone gets to vote. Everyone gets to be a part of the decision. It’s a system of beautiful simplicity. It’s also the way we run elections in Oklahoma City, where our effective, unifying and dynamic governance is the envy of the nation.

Locations to sign the petition for SQ 836 this weekend:

https://t.co/2HwRQYhVUp