Mas Funny

Saying it how it is since 12.19.2012 and being funny in the process

[Mas Funny @Mas_funny]

I've been cheating on my girlfriend with her Siamese twin...

We've been doing it behind her back for months now.

[Mas Funny @Mas_funny]

I've been on the toilet for two days now....... Same shit different day.

[Mas Funny @Mas_funny]

My favorite mistake is forgetting to set my alarm.

[Mas Funny @Mas_funny]

It must be almost time for Christmas...

I just saw some Easter Eggs for sale

[Mas Funny @Mas_funny]

99% of the world is stupid I'm just so glad I'm the other 2%

[Mas Funny @Mas_funny]

I'm looking for "nobody" because yesterday somebody shouted out nobody loves you..

[Mas Funny @Mas_funny]

Yo momma is so nasty even her camel toe has athletes foot

[Mas Funny @Mas_funny]

I heard that Oxygen and Magnesium are going out. I was like OMg.

[Mas Funny @Mas_funny]

I want a shirt that says
"eat or die"
it sounds rebellious, but really its just a healthy message

[Mas Funny @Mas_funny]

Think women are the weaker sex?

Try pulling the blankets back to your side..

[Mas Funny @Mas_funny]

In awkward situations, we all pretend to text.

[Mas Funny @Mas_funny]

Chicken Pot Pie.
My three favorite things.

[Mas Funny @Mas_funny]

Getting paid to sleep.. That's my dream job.

[Mas Funny @Mas_funny]

Retweet anything for a S/O

[Mas Funny @Mas_funny]

I call my dick "Myspace" because no one is ever on it. ( ._.)

[Mas Funny @Mas_funny]

Here's a good Healthcare Plan: Stop eating that shit. Get off your lazy ass, and get a little exercise.

[Mas Funny @Mas_funny]

Knock Knock jokes dont ring a bell.

[Mas Funny @Mas_funny]

Random Thought:
What if honey, was actually bee cum?

[Mas Funny @Mas_funny]

I hate when people text me hours later, trying to continue the conversation. Bitch, the feeling is gone.

[Mas Funny @Mas_funny]

Living Young and Wild and broke