Mason Day

[eliza ˙⋆✮ @enchantedflms]

bold of u to assume i ever stopped calling it twitter

[davey @jerseyh0mo]

The United States doesn’t even believe teeth should be part of a health plan lmao

[Logan Hall @loganclarkhall]

“Where is my 5 iron? Is it safe? Is it alright?”

“It seems, in your anger, you threw it into the lake…”

[KORBI 🐦‍⬛ @NoiBoobSweat]

The one kid who had the newports is a lion amongst sheep

[𝓩 @zzyzx420]

smoking straight asbestos out of the doohickey

[dank @cptdankkk]

Charlie Sheen says he smoked 24 miles worth of cigarettes over 33 years at 2-3 packs a day

"I smoked for 33 years and I started on Platoon because Oliver Stone wanted the character to smoke"

"There’s 20 in a pack, they're 3 inches, and if you line them up tip to tip, that's 24 and a half miles of cigarettes"

"I smoked a marathon and never ran one"

[pat 2: cruise control @ranmasaotome96]

Yungblud is the reverse of "separate the art from the artist" where his music sucks ass, but he always seems like a super nice and friendly person.

[John Kennedy @FrazzleMyGimp]

This is just a turkey neck. My grandma had one. It would jiggle when she spoke. We later found out she was a member of the kgb and it was a mask. I smothered her with a pillow. I miss her every day

[Rafa 🧱 @notrafalacoort]

Lo mejor de las cuevas es que es completamente opcional meterse

[The Notorious J.O.V. @whotfisjovana]

RIP Oscar Wilde you would’ve LOVED twitter

[doomer @uncledoomer]

would be very interesting to still have lobsters this size around today. where's little jimmy? oh he got too close to the beach and was dragged away by a lobster. very tragic. but such is life in new england.

[𝓔𝓿𝓪𝓷 @Baltlol]

if I woke up to a pony playing a keyboard after surgery I would assume I passed away

[Brooke Espinoza @BrookeMH__]

Smoke a cigarette you fucking loser

[Joseph @aestheticist_]

ok, but if you reincarnated genghis khan in the 1950s and asked him who he wanted to play him in the movie he definitely would have said john wayne

[EducatëdHillbilly™ @RobProvince]

It’s set in a men’s prison…….

[chloe @yandhiisntreal]

i thought this was the deep and homelander

[Ron Iver @ronnui_]

Thank you I will adjust accordingly

[Craig @CS11__]

It’s certainly a weird choice for Robin but i’m willing to trust Matt Reeves vision

[Vaelor💥 @vaelor0]

Remember this when a celebrity tires to tell you how to vote.