Massive Jokes

Tweeting and retweeting the best, most massive jokes on Twitter. Feel free to retweet your favorites.

[Massive Jokes @MassiveJokes]

Behind every fat girl there is a beautiful woman. No seriously, you're in the way.

[Massive Jokes @MassiveJokes]

A city in Alaska passed a law outlawing all dogs. It became known as Dogless Fairbanks.

[ANTHONY 🫥 @iSpeakComedy]

nah https://t.co/JiFTCr2Rup

[Massive Jokes @MassiveJokes]

Oxymoron: Liquid Crystal

[Massive Jokes @MassiveJokes]

I listen to my head, but I follow my heart.

[BAFTA @BAFTA]

.@JefficaHoons wins the first #BAFTATV award of her career! Watch her backstage reaction: http://t.co/Z1htW1XNwX

[Massive Jokes @MassiveJokes]

The toughest part of a diet isn't watching what you eat. It's watching what other people eat.

[Nostalgia @ComedyPosts]

Every day next week will be the same backwards:
5/10/15
5/11/15
5/12/15
5/13/15
5/14/15
5/15/15
5/16/15
5/17/15

[Massive Jokes @MassiveJokes]

When the going gets tough, the tough use duct tape.

[Massive Jokes @MassiveJokes]

Inside every fat person their is a small person trying to get out,It's called Pregnancy.

[Massive Jokes @MassiveJokes]

If genius is one percent inspiration & 99 percent perspiration, I wind up sharing elevators with a lot of bright people.

[Massive Jokes @MassiveJokes]

It's a dog eat dog world & I'm wearing Milkbone underwear!

[Massive Jokes @MassiveJokes]

If a girl has a tattoo on her lower back, the odds she likes dick in her ass increase 35%

[Massive Jokes @MassiveJokes]

I'm fairly sure that my cute next door neighbor thinks I'm a stalker. She wrote it on facebook, twitter & even in both of her diaries.

[Massive Jokes @MassiveJokes]

I don't think you are a fool. But then, what's my own humble opinion against thousands of others?

[Massive Jokes @MassiveJokes]

CNN just said the world is forty trillion dollars in debt. Who the f**k does the world owe? Jupiter?

[Conan O'Brien @ConanOBrien]

Is the link to the new Magic Mike trailer a good Mother’s Day gift?

[Massive Jokes @MassiveJokes]

Men… you can't live with them, you can't have hetrosexual sex without them.