Heavy Bertation

a decent man and almost certainly always an ex-husband.

[Heavy Bertation @Mastabetarapper]

The Devil is actually kind of an okay guy when he's not bragging about how big his weird red dick is

[Heavy Bertation @Mastabetarapper]

I do wish that there was a CEO of some sort thinking about white elephant gifts for his staff who would find my eBay store and just snap all of it up. One shot. I’m happy. He’s happy. They’re happy. Wishes happen when you’re in the bathroom it seems.

[Heavy Bertation @Mastabetarapper]

It’s on trend to call people Nazi’s when they aren’t Nazi’s at all.

Basically, being hurtful and accusatory is trending.

I think we can do better as a people.

[Heavy Bertation @Mastabetarapper]

I still want that Plug 1 collab with Homeboy Sand record…

[Heavy Bertation @Mastabetarapper]

How many lights in the sky, weird sky booms, testimonials from military pilots… and all that other shit do we need to hear about until we ACTUALLY process the information we already have?

[Heavy Bertation @Mastabetarapper]

Every television I’ve ever seen is too small.

[Heavy Bertation @Mastabetarapper]

I would trade 10 fantastic birthday’s for just one full family three day cruise. Bring the weird ones, the chatty ones, the introverts/extroverts… just get us all together one last time while we’re all alive.

[Heavy Bertation @Mastabetarapper]

I am the sound of ice being scooped into a rocks glass. I don’t make the rules.

[Heavy Bertation @Mastabetarapper]

Speaking of good pants, nobody has worn them better than Jason Lee and Johnny Knoxville.

[Heavy Bertation @Mastabetarapper]

Panthers aren’t real. Look it up.

[Heavy Bertation @Mastabetarapper]

Doesn’t every man dream about beating up a coyote?

[Heavy Bertation @Mastabetarapper]

It’s been two days of listening to that new Strokes album and those vocals go…

Bleep, blork, zzzzsquigg, zeep squelch…

Still, it’s a grower… not a shower.

[Heavy Bertation @Mastabetarapper]

I’m nothing but a blood and guts smoothie.

[Heavy Bertation @Mastabetarapper]

Blast from the past alert: I just heard audio of me from 1984 calling into a NY radio station asking them to play the “Roxanne rap record”for me. I was 8 years old. I’ve always been Hip Hop.

[Heavy Bertation @Mastabetarapper]

@joeroganhq In terms of conspiracy theories, aren’t we living in a giant one right now? No one thinks anyone is telling the truth. Everyone is at each other’s necks and none of us are doing better in spite of that.

[Heavy Bertation @Mastabetarapper]

@desni3_7 I hate guys like this.

[Heavy Bertation @Mastabetarapper]

More Qwel please.

[Heavy Bertation @Mastabetarapper]

@icecube This pretty dope I’ve…Can we get Aesop Rock remix?

[Heavy Bertation @Mastabetarapper]

Any man who describes what he is wearing as an outfit is a man who is not a natural one. Thank about that while you hold your bag…

[Heavy Bertation @Mastabetarapper]

No sweatpants are worth a hundred bucks.

[Heavy Bertation @Mastabetarapper]

Your mailman knows a lot about you.