Mathew

I love my children and mistre— I mean wifE 💛

[Mathew @MathewThePP]

I swear to good Zin almighty when is there EVER gonna be a day Mrs. Vern doesn’t try to choke me with my own collar???

Or “accidentally” drop a Dictionary on my tail, in this case.

[Mathew @MathewThePP]

@SaltyPuppyHere Because, I’ve embraced it a LONG time ago UvU
PLUS I know that you all will be old farts just like me one day

[Mathew @MathewThePP]

Hey so
Technology was a mistake
And it hates me
Cuz

I’m ol d

[Mathew @MathewThePP]

@NoahSmore @SaltyPuppyHere I try UwU

[Mathew @MathewThePP]

@SaltyPuppyHere Thank you!

[Mathew @MathewThePP]

Take Your Time https://t.co/LOL8PlQUSq

This is such a lovely song, really pulls at the heartstrings

Might teach myself to play this on the guitar and sing it to Anabel later 💛

[Mathew @MathewThePP]

@PrinDrew You’ll know when you’re older, Prin

[Mathew @MathewThePP]

What happened? I woke up on the couch, and my head is killing me

I feel like I might be sick, but idk if I’m gonna throw up

Also, why are there doodles dicks drawn on my face

And
Wait
WhERES MY VIBRATO R???

[Mathew @MathewThePP]

@NoahSmore OK

[Mathew @MathewThePP]

@NoahSmore They’re clean, yeah

[Mathew @MathewThePP]

@NoahSmore I have several

[Mathew @MathewThePP]

@NoahSmore You can be a boy without owning a strap-on, son
You must own
A vibrato r

[Mathew @MathewThePP]

@NoahSmore No, I want you to be a kid

[Mathew @MathewThePP]

@PrinDrew Oh yeah that’s right
Sorry Dart

[Mathew @MathewThePP]

@PrinDrew Hi son

[Mathew @MathewThePP]

@PepPepShaker wAIT NO

PEPPER PLEAS E

[Mathew @MathewThePP]

Takin a shot every time my children fight

[Mathew @MathewThePP]

Ya know that feeling you always get when you knew you’ve regretted somethin?