Mathew Warren

One cold ass honky.

[Mathew Warren @MathewWarren]

My wife just watched an influencer who said "last year I broke the Internet with a video that got 3,900 comments."
The YouTube video "It's so cold in the d", filmed on a camcorder, has over 31k comments.
But no, you asking people's opinions broke the Internet.

[Mathew Warren @MathewWarren]

"One of the Mormon moms had her baby at 16 when the father was 22. Wow!"
-influencer normalizing rape

[Mathew Warren @MathewWarren]

In tonight's episode of "shit my wife's influencers say", we have: controversial takes.
"This is gonna be a hot take, but I miss it when school was fun."

[Mathew Warren @MathewWarren]

"I just, I don't know, I just think maybe all the good actors are getting paid so well they don't have to work. I don't think there have been a lot of movies that have really big name actors."
-beauty influencer discussing a rom-com she liked, August 2024

[Mathew Warren @MathewWarren]

My wife at a restaurant: oooo I'm just gonna have a little bite of your food just a little nom I planned on eating your food with mine give me your food.

Later
Me: I'm gonna have a bite of your leftovers.
My wife: fuck you.

[Mathew Warren @MathewWarren]

God I fucking love eating.

[Mathew Warren @MathewWarren]

Just listened to a TikTok influencer rant about how offensive it was that Ben Affleck called himself the Boston massacre in his super bowl commercial because the first person killed in the Boston massacre was a black man.
The entire rant is actually funnier than the commercial.

[Mathew Warren @MathewWarren]

*watching super bowl commercials*
Wife: everyone likes Mich Ultra. Even that sport guy.
Me: that was Messi.
Wife: I don't care if he's messy or clean. He likes Mich Ultra.

[Mathew Warren @MathewWarren]

Hey @oliviarodrigo can you stop? You're filling a void in me I didn't know I had for girl power, but giving my wife ammunition for things I didn't do.

[Mathew Warren @MathewWarren]

My wife's TikTok beauty influencers are going nuts b/c middle school girls are going to Sephora.

The influencers are upset that the young people they influence on the platform that creates echo-chambers are doing what they're doing.

And they're blaming the parents.

[Mathew Warren @MathewWarren]

Favorite exercise: the deadlift

Least favorite exercise: side plank

Favorite lifting pump up song: "Who Was In My Room Last Night?" by The Butthole Surfers

Favorite cardio: Aerobic running (that's Zone 2 for those peasants who don't know)

[Mathew Warren @MathewWarren]

Favorite song: BILLIE EILISH. By Armani White

Favorite artist: Run the Jewels

Least favorite song: Try That In A Small Town by Jason Aldean

Least favorite artist: T. Swift NOT B/C SHE HAS BAD MUSIC. Tay-tay slays, I'm just tired of hearing about it.

Favorite concert: Tool

[Mathew Warren @MathewWarren]

Favorite video game: God of War: Ragnarok

Least favorite video game: Witcher 3

Favorite multiplayer game: Battlefield V/Rocket League (both are usually played in the same night)

Favorite physical sensation: feeling green grass beneath my feet

[Mathew Warren @MathewWarren]

Favorite book: Children of Time by Adrian Tchaikovsky

Favorite tobacco: Copenhagen Wintergreen

Favorite nicotine: Zyn Wintergreen, 6mg

Favorite beer: @SierraNevada Hazy Little Thing IPA

Least favorite beer: near beer

[Mathew Warren @MathewWarren]

Best advice given: if we have the people, we can train them. But we need the people first.

Worst advice given: just go straight, 500m down that road. We'll be there.

Favorite date: June 16

Least favorite date: June 12

[Mathew Warren @MathewWarren]

Least favorite celebrity: Andrew Tate

Favorite quote heard: Come find me after this, motherfucker!

Favorite quote said to me: you want the job?

Funniest thing said to me: the old you would've kicked your ass.

[Mathew Warren @MathewWarren]

Favorite celebrity comeback: T. Swift

Favorite new celebrity: Oliver Anthony @AintGottaDollar

Favorite meal: Chipotle Steak Burrito Bowl

Least favorite meal: tater tots on an airfield

[Mathew Warren @MathewWarren]

Movie I never finished: Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

Favorite scandal: Lauren Boebert takes down Beetlejuice

Least favorite scandal: GOP fires House Speaker. Can't fill vacancy. Suggest's Trump. World laughs.
Notable second: any and all of T. Swift's former BFs

[Mathew Warren @MathewWarren]

All-time favorite TV show: Blue Eyed Samurai

Favorite Comedy show: Shoresy, season 2

Best "oh shit this is actually good" show: Halo

Favorite movie: Barbie
Notable second place favorite movie: Whiplash

Least favorite movie: Equalizer 3

[Mathew Warren @MathewWarren]

No particular order, completely random topics, everything may change on a dime, and it isn't restricted to entertainment that came out this year. It's anything I've experienced this year regardless of the time it was produced.

Aren't you excited, all 4 of my followers?