Matt Robinson

[NFL Films @NFLFilms]

A one-of-a-kind teacher

What a run for the @Eagles under Stoutland University �

[SPORTSRADIO 94WIP @SportsRadioWIP]

8 years ago today: THE PHILLY SPECIAL 🏆

[Matt Robinson @MattRob9671]

@kittenaround_51 Unacceptable. My OCD has been activated.

[Philadelphia Eagles @Eagles]

Not done yet

[RossCreations @CreationsRoss]

I Made My Mailbox Smaller Everyday til the Mailman Noticed!

[Barstool Philly @BarstoolPhilly]

BACK-TO-BACK NFC EAST CHAMPIONS FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 21 YEARS

GOOOOOOOOOOO BIRDS 🦅

PLAY THE SONG

@mworthofgame | @gilliedakid

[Jennifer @JennSalerno310]

Quite possibly the greatest hot mic moment of all time

[Matt Robinson @MattRob9671]

@199100candy ACME
(not all of us grew up with money).

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Matt Robinson @MattRob9671]

@lids GO BIRDS DICKHEAD!

[Danny Deraney @DannyDeraney]

53 years ago this month, Sesame Street debuted the iconic "I Can Remember. "

You ready?

"A loaf of bread, a container of milk and a stick of butter.”

"A loaf of bread, a container of milk and a stick of butter.”

[MLFootball @MLFootball]

ONE YEAR AGO TODAY:

#EAGLES RB SAQUON BARKLEY MADE THE GREATEST PLAY IN #NFL HISTORY.

The reverse-hurdle 🤯🤯🤯

We will never see another play like this again.

[Super 70s Sports @Super70sSports]

This motherfucker ran a solid kingdom and I think some acknowledgement of that is overdue. Low crime, clean streets, quality monarch.

[Steve 🇺🇸 @SteveLovesAmmo]

Best “you can’t park there” reactions. 😂

[DuPage GOP @DuPageCountyGOP]

He’s next level 😂

[Vince Langman @LangmanVince]

You can't park there 😂

[Matt Robinson @MattRob9671]

@RealDGunn Go Birds.

[Dudes Posting Their W’s @DudespostingWs]

This is the kind of good thats so good that people who dont know whats good think its bad

[Philadelphia Phillies @Phillies]

Whole city is ready for #RedOctober