Matt Coleman

I used to be cute. Now I'm precious

[Matt Coleman @MattTheRat87]

I just completed Beirut Bistro in Letter Soup!

Download FREE for iOS:
https://t.co/bGbNBBBB4B

[Men's Humor @MensHumor]

😂😂😂

[Matt Coleman @MattTheRat87]

What did the blind man say when he was given a cheese grater? This is the most violent book I’ve ever read

[Matt Coleman @MattTheRat87]

Arguing on the internet is like being in a mule race: even if you win, you’re still a jackass

[Matt Coleman @MattTheRat87]

@Lyricoldrap I work third shift lol

[Matt Coleman @MattTheRat87]

True story

[UberFacts @UberFacts]

A 70-year-old man robbed a Kansas City bank and then sat down in the lobby, saying he'd rather live in jail than with his wife.

[Matt Coleman @MattTheRat87]

I hate Russian dolls. They're so full of themselves

[Matt Coleman @MattTheRat87]

God listens.........to Slayer

[Matt Coleman @MattTheRat87]

Man who drop watch in toilet is bound to have a shitty time

[Tyler Flesch @indaflesch]

Joey for the win! #Cronhole #Slowmotion https://t.co/OurQCsqiRD

[FunWithKris&Brit @KrisnBrit]

"I hate drama"
~ people on FB that start drama

[Matt Coleman @MattTheRat87]

Whiskey smells like mommy's kisses

[Arnold Schwarzenegger @Schwarzenegger]

The National Prayer Breakfast?

[GamesYouLoved @gamesyouloved]

So excited to tweet this!
Crash Bandicoot 2017 here we come

[Matt Coleman @MattTheRat87]

When someone is offended by my tweets...

[Matt Coleman @MattTheRat87]

😄

[Matt Coleman @MattTheRat87]

My neighbor called the cops on me for playing my metal too loud. He was arrested shortly after #metalhead

[Matt Coleman @MattTheRat87]

Without nipples, boobs would be pointless #dadjokes