DharmaBum

PhD in Clinical Psychology, Progressive

[DharmaBum @MattVenti]

@Foxing 😭

[DharmaBum @MattVenti]

@JonathanShedler You mean repetition compulsion isn’t caused by the vagus nerve?😂🤦🏻‍♂️

[Jonathan Shedler @JonathanShedler]

Imagine you were sick and needed a doctor but you couldn’t just go to a doctor who practiced “medicine”

Imagine there were dozens of different brands of medicine. Imagine you had to choose, say, a CBT doctor, or ACT doctor, or DBT doctor, or IPT doctor, or dynamic doctor, or EMDR doctor, or ISTDP doctor, or RET doctor. Or literally hundreds of other fringe brands

And imagine you had no real understanding of what any of these things really meant, and you found contradictory information wherever you looked

Imagine further that all the doctors didn’t complete medical school and residency, but instead had all kinds of different degrees, and went to different kinds of schools with wildly different training standards and requirements—all claiming to produce practitioners fully qualified to treat you

And imagine you were really sick and really needed medical attention

I think you might be feeling a little fucked

[Jonathan Shedler @JonathanShedler]

Six reasons people keep repeating painful experiences

1️⃣ To alleviate guilt. Some people feel guilty about success or pleasure, as if enjoyment were a transgression. They seek suffering to expiate guilt and pay off their conscience. In some cases, pain and suffering become the “admission price” for whatever pleasures they allow themselves

2️⃣To gain a sense of control and mastery. The person attempts to gain a sense of control over painful or traumatic experiences they once experienced helplessly. There is an underlying (unconscious) fantasy they can undo a past trauma, or right a past wrong, by repeating it and getting it to come out differently (but in reality, they just keep reliving the same pain)

3️⃣Suffering is home. An analogy can help us understand this: when panicked horses are rescued from a burning stable, they often run back in. The horses associate the stable with safety and security—it’s home

A child’s earliest attachments, however unhappy, are also home. However neglectful or abusive, that was where the child experienced whatever care and comfort they knew. In their search for comfort, they seek the same pain

4️⃣Secondary gain. Pain, suffering, and MH symptoms come with indirect or hidden benefits, which clinicians call “secondary gain.” Their difficulties may bring attention, sympathy, release from responsibilities, special treatment, even financial incentives (eg, disability pay). Secondary gain can be a powerful incentive for continued suffering

In psychotherapy, it can be helpful to invite patients to reflect on the *downside* of getting well. The first response is likely to be something like, “There is no downside, I’d do anything to get better.” If the therapist persists and says something like,“Not so fast, let’s really think about this,” there may be some suprising insights

5️⃣To punish others (passive-aggression). The desire to punish someone else can be more powerful than the desire to avoid pain. For example, a person may unconsciously sabotage their prospects for success or happiness *precisely because it’s what someone else wants for them* (hence the expression, “cutting of your nose to spite your face”)

Mental health symptoms also cause pain and suffering for *other* people. For example, a depressed person may be too depressed to do their share of work, earn a living, keep their social commitments, have sex with their partner, etc. There can be (generally unconscious) sadistic pleasure in inflicting this pain on others, especially without responsibility or consequences. But who can blame the suffering person? After all, they’re the victim

6️⃣To enhance self esteem or feel superior. For some, feelings of self-worth and even superiority are tied to self-deprivation and self-punishment. The person seems organized around the belief, “I am better than you because I suffer more.” The more suffering, the more they feel morally superior. In the clinical literature, this is called “moral masochism”

One caveat: these are rarely conscious choices. These patterns come about unconsciously

[Secular Talk ([email protected]) @KyleKulinski]

- voted for 8 of Trump's cabinet members
- voted for Laken Riley act, killing due process for immigrants
- George W. Bush national security advisor
- first dem endorsed by Liz Cheney
- pro Israeli genocide
- pro TikTok ban
- anti-student debt relief

GET THIS DISGUSTING MAGA SELL OUT COLLABORATOR OUT OF OUR FACES

[DharmaBum @MattVenti]

@WhiteHouse Sociopathic

[DharmaBum @MattVenti]

@JimCosta_ NBA scripts

[DharmaBum @MattVenti]

@DanLeachDTM Sports are rigged? Makes no sense

[DharmaBum @MattVenti]

@MichaelRapaport Rigged

[DharmaBum @MattVenti]

@DanLeachDTM That unnecessary Jameson Williams pass play was the nail. Horribly coached game. No defensive adjustments. Goff awful.

[DharmaBum @MattVenti]

@badbrad4998 @DanLeachDTM 😂

[DharmaBum @MattVenti]

@en_cohen “Incredible”= 7.8???

[DharmaBum @MattVenti]

@AlinaV_Psy @MarkLRuffalo “She sees them everywhere.” Perhaps including the mirror.

[DharmaBum @MattVenti]

@DrWinarick @ZETO05 We need capacity for love to be alone. We need to be able to be alone to have capacity for love.

[DharmaBum @MattVenti]

@DrWinarick @ZETO05 I’m thinking from a developmental sense. Like we hopefully do not start off alone, which in ideal cases fosters capacity for love first and then capacity to be alone later on. But if one is alone in a sense early on, they may not have the capacity for love or to be with others.

[DharmaBum @MattVenti]

@JonathanShedler So many great points that new therapists need to hear. So many great reminders for more experienced therapists!

[DharmaBum @MattVenti]

@LindseyBoylan

[DharmaBum @MattVenti]

@jemelehill He wasn’t that good. Lions choked.

[DharmaBum @MattVenti]

@AdamSchefter Lions lost it more than the 49ers did anything special to win it. That said, 49er’s deserve to be in the superbowl.

[DharmaBum @MattVenti]

@DrWinarick I fell for it too