The World Cup has turned America into a discovery channel for the rest of the world.
And they are not handling it well.
In the best possible way.
Here is what they are discovering:
Free public restrooms. Europeans pay every time.
Free water at every restaurant. Just appears.
Free refills. Coffee. Sodas. Iced tea. Unlimited.
Free chips and salsa before you even order.
Free warm bread with dinner.
Ice in drinks like civilized people.
Air conditioning everywhere. Not a moral debate. A fact.
Parking lots attached to the actual place you are going.
Drive throughs where the food comes to the car while you sit in it.
Ranch dressing by the gallon.
Tex-Mex that cannot be explained only experienced.
Dental care that actually works.
Buccee’s. There are no words for Buccee’s.
Then they found the grocery stores.
Five of them within one mile.
Each one the size of an aircraft hangar.
Burgers. Steaks. Brisket. Ribs. Pulled pork. Lamb. Veal. Every cut of every animal ever domesticated by human civilization available in one refrigerated aisle at ten in the morning on a Tuesday.
The Germans stood in the meat section for forty five minutes.
In silence.
Processing.
They finally understand why we do not have trains.
We have roads wide enough for the cars we actually drive.
Parking lots the size of small European countries.
Airports in every city worth visiting.
Why would we need trains.
The Germans are taking ranch home by the bottle.
The Dutch found queso and briefly lost the ability to speak.
The Japanese are photographing HEB like it is the Louvre.
The Czechs are weeping in West, Texas.
Welcome to America!
The greatest country on earth.
Spain is experiencing Chattanooga, TN.
Argentina is in Auburn, Alabama.
Germans are eating Waffle House.
Brits are still complaining.
This World Cup has been amazing and it hasn’t even started yet.
This story is now more than 25 years old and I have told it more times than I can count, but it hits very differently today.
I was anchoring SportsCenter one afternoon and Lou Holtz was on the show. I was quite excited to talk with him, he had been an icon all of my life.
He was very friendly, asking me all about myself as we walked toward the studio to record an interview. I told him: “Actually, Coach, it’s quite exciting, my wife and I are expecting our first child in the next few weeks.”
He stopped dead in his tracks and put a finger up near my face. And I’ll never forget what he said.
“Young man, the most important thing you can do for a child is make sure every day they know how much you love their mother.”
And, just like that, he started walking again.
Our daughter was born a month later, our son came two years after that. And I have thought about what Lou Holtz said to me that day about a million times since.
RIP Coach, thanks for the best advice anyone ever gave me.
"When you tear out a man's tongue, you are not proving him a liar, you're only telling the world that you fear what he might say".
My thoughts are with Charlie Kirk's family.