Matt

older wiser and maybe less funny

[Matt @Matt_The_1st]

If your vibrator requires 6 D batteries, I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I probably cannot satisfy you

[Matt @Matt_The_1st]

It's been so long since Iogged on i didn't know I still had an account.

Any old friends still in the Twitter verse

[Matt @Matt_The_1st]

It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 11 years, since 15 Sep 2012 (via @twi_age).

[Matt @Matt_The_1st]

Wife swap, but one of the husbands are separated

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Maybe free some people in jail for weed here too?

[Lady Lawya @Parkerlawyer]

Everyone says the first thing you should do if you win the Mega Millions is hire a lawyer. I am a lawyer. I will be your lottery lawyer. I have no idea what to do but we gonna have a good time.

[trash jones @jzux]

i am not having a baja blast i am actually kind of having a baja hard time

[Lynx @LibertyLynx]

Hey @TractorSupply We love you up here. Any chance we can get some donated feed to the Mariposa Fairgrounds? Thank you!! #OakFire

[Matt @Matt_The_1st]

@LuckColeman That’s down from 50k🤣 I took a few years off and got unfunny. Imma dm you my number. If you need to evacuate, hit me up. I’m in bass lake heights

[Matt @Matt_The_1st]

@LuckColeman Bwahahaha. Small world. Yes, formerly Matt and Ashley however. It’s just Matt now 😝

[Matt @Matt_The_1st]

@LuckColeman Yeah in NE as well, but farther by quite a bit.

[Matt @Matt_The_1st]

@LuckColeman Yeah I saw the same thing from 2016. I hope the results end up the same however. How far away are you? Hard to tell by that photo posted if you’re zoomed or not

[_ZEROYAL PUNTED CUNT TORNADO PUDDING @SaraESpivey]

My daughter: Mommy, what is a loser?

Me: Well, sweetie, you know your dad?

My daughter: No.

Me: Exactly. There ya go.

[Prof. Feynman @ProfFeynman]

Quantum Physics!

[Matt @Matt_The_1st]

@MourningGlory4 As soon as I truly stopped giving a shit about likes, I found a new feeedom. I also stopped getting likes and lost half my follower count 🤣

[Black Hole @konstructivizm]

NASA The sharpest picture of Pluto taken by the New Horizons Spacecraft in 2015

[Matt @Matt_The_1st]

If a challenge to your belief system triggers you, it’s incredibly important to look at why you feel triggered. Something needs to be seen and acknowledged.

[Matt @Matt_The_1st]

Boycotts

[ᗰᎥⓢᵗƳ @skedaddle74]

What are you boycotting till the day you die?

[Matt @Matt_The_1st]

@Investingcom Boobs of course