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Floyd
@dafloydsta
Dead
Joined March 2011
482
Following
29.9K
Followers
7.5K
Posts
Pinned Tweet
Floyd
@dafloydsta
almost 11 years ago
BATMAN: I got you flowers CATWOMAN: Put them in this vase BATMAN: Ok CATWOMAN: *pushes vase off counter while maintaining eye contact*
dafloydsta
retweeted
Floyd
@dafloydsta
3 months ago
Isn’t life a dream? https://t.co/I1ZpehZDUn
#indiemusic
#alternativerock
#originalmusic
#newmusic
#bleedingdry
dafloydsta's tweet video.
dafloydsta
retweeted
Floyd
@dafloydsta
almost 9 years ago
[wedding] "Anyone know why these two should not be joined in marriage?" ME: *from back* THEY'RE DOING A CASH BAR *priest drops bible*
dafloydsta
retweeted
Floyd
@dafloydsta
about 9 years ago
NURSE: What's your blood type? ME: Oh, I'm not picky. I'll drink any kind. NURSE: What? ME: What?
Who to follow
Boyd's Backyard™
@TheBoydP
I’d rather be working on my yard. #envydastrength I retweet regular people. My tweets are here: https://t.co/zOIJ18SHBV
DaddyJew
@DaddyJew
https://t.co/Khbo6khxhO
LTB
@_Tempo11
Doctor. Holistic as fuck. Every Starbucks barista hates me... https://t.co/JCGn74YlZn
Floyd
@dafloydsta
3 months ago
Isn’t life a dream? https://t.co/I1ZpehZDUn
#indiemusic
#alternativerock
#originalmusic
#newmusic
#bleedingdry
dafloydsta's tweet video.
Floyd
@dafloydsta
3 months ago
Haven’t posted music here in quite some time… but I finally released something new. https://t.co/9cQCgXUYV0
dafloydsta
retweeted
Floyd
@dafloydsta
over 9 years ago
JUDGE: You're charged with stealing penguins from the zoo. ME: *lips right on mic* I needed groomsmen for my wedding, your Honor.
dafloydsta
retweeted
Floyd
@dafloydsta
over 10 years ago
[buying a used car] SALESMAN: What if I told you this vehicle is the Batmobile? WIFE: We're not stupid. ME: Hold on Karen, let him finish.
dafloydsta
retweeted
Floyd
@dafloydsta
almost 9 years ago
[trying to impress date] HER: I really want to have children. ME: [to waiter] Bring us your finest baby.
Floyd
@dafloydsta
3 months ago
My new single Isn’t Life a Dream is now streaming everywhere. Listen here: https://t.co/9cQCgXVwKy
dafloydsta
retweeted
Floyd
@dafloydsta
almost 9 years ago
ME, as a kid: I can't wait to be an adult. ME, as an adult: I have seriously miscalculated this.
dafloydsta
retweeted
Floyd
@dafloydsta
over 10 years ago
[job interview] "What's your greatest weakness?" Procrastination "Can you elaborate?" *deep sigh* Can we not do this now?
Floyd
@dafloydsta
12 months ago
@Jay_FrickinLynn
dafloydsta's tweet gif.
dafloydsta
retweeted
Floyd
@dafloydsta
almost 9 years ago
[date] HER: So what's your spirit animal? ME: Roosters. HER: Lol, why? ME: *leans in close* I also start my day screaming.
Floyd
@dafloydsta
about 1 year ago
@Jay_FrickinLynn
Happy birthday, my old friend! You look great! 🎈🎊🎁
dafloydsta
retweeted
Floyd
@dafloydsta
over 10 years ago
INTERVIEWER: Under special skills, you wrote "I ain't afraid of no ghosts" ME: *sweating profusely* Yeah why, do any ghosts work here?
dafloydsta
retweeted
Floyd
@dafloydsta
about 11 years ago
[job interview] What's your greatest strength? "I'm a people person" Excellent. Any weaknesses? "I hate them"
dafloydsta
retweeted
Chris Infante
@Infante54
over 1 year ago
Me thinking about the Super Bowl and realizing it would be Wentz’s second time seeing his back up win the SB
Infante54's tweet video.
dafloydsta
retweeted
Floyd
@dafloydsta
over 9 years ago
FRIEND: Women like when you're mysterious ME: Okay [later on date] HER: So where are we going tonight? ME: None of your goddamn business
Floyd
@dafloydsta
over 1 year ago
@howardeskin
Are you gonna be the new host of Family Feud? Ya know, for the free kissin'.
Floyd
@dafloydsta
over 2 years ago
@HighlyIngenious
You know else likes deviled eggs?
dafloydsta's tweet gif.
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