Matt Cassatta

Detroiter turned New Yorker. Creative Director, Copywriter, karaoke in all 50 state-r, filmmaker, picky eater.

[Matt Cassatta @MatteFinished]

If you haven’t left your house you already know what time it is...Episode 3 of Quarantine Theater! 1/ @Marvel @OriginalFunko #fantasticfour #reedrichards #suestorm #cosplay #funkomini #funko #thething #humantorch #silversurfer #invisiblewoman #mrfantastic

[Matt Cassatta @MatteFinished]

Someone please start drawing The Simpsons Treehouse of Horror ‘Weapons’ parody right now.

[Matt Cassatta @MatteFinished]

@DaveandBusters He really nailed the logo.

[Matt Cassatta @MatteFinished]

There will be no more ‘Matt’s until this current line of Matts dies out and then our kids (or their kids) will start naming all their boys ‘Matt’ in honor of their Dad/Grandpa and we’ll be right back where we are now.

[Matt Cassatta @MatteFinished]

This betting on your games at Dave & Buster’s business is setting up a ‘Family Matters’-esque situation where one day my son will get taken in by some pop-a-shot sharks and I have to dramatically come in and win all his money back.

[Matt Cassatta @MatteFinished]

@harvilla I sang this song at a karaoke bar in Metro Detroit last weekend as a 60 Songs tribute. I sang it NEAR closing, not AT closing, but the KJ still got mad at me for potentially causing 2 tables to leave.

[Matt Cassatta @MatteFinished]

If only Cillian Murphy started his speech with ‘I too tried to kill Batman…’

[Matt Cassatta @MatteFinished]

The Pop Tart Mascot is the best thing to happen to the Internet since that submersible exploded.

[Matt Cassatta @MatteFinished]

@harvilla should have been 2 years running, but there was that algorithm glitch or whatever last year.

[Matt Cassatta @MatteFinished]

In 1 month, 10 best buds will travel from all over the US to crawl into a shark cage @alamodenver to see @MegMovie not for a bachelor or birthday party, but for a little something we call MegFest. C U in The Trench! We’ll be the guys in the matching MegFest T-shirts. @wbpictures

[Matt Cassatta @MatteFinished]

On a long enough timeline Optimus Prime turns into a gun.

[Matt Cassatta @MatteFinished]

Could you guys check on your Moms and ask them what Candy Crush level they are on? Because mine is on 4,982.

[Matt Cassatta @MatteFinished]

My son went with me to check the mail last night and now the @LEGO_Group catalog is his favorite book of all time. We’re gonna need a bigger apartment.

[Matt Cassatta @MatteFinished]

The debate over canceling ‘Baby, It’s Cold Outside’ is as tired as the ‘Die Hard’ argument, BUT! You guys know that song’s in ELF, right? And that movie is FOREVER.

[Matt Cassatta @MatteFinished]

People who just sit in your seat on an airplane and THEN ask you to switch when you get there should automatically get kicked off the plane and banned from air travel for life. No exceptions.

[Matt Cassatta @MatteFinished]

@HeatherParryUK I've done exactly this with "Water, water everywhere so let's all have a drink."

[Matt Cassatta @MatteFinished]

Free Sketch Idea: White Elephant Lotus. Just play the theme song while a group of co-workers all steal the best gift from each other while exchanging loaded looks.

[Matt Cassatta @MatteFinished]

@ThatKevinSmith you da’ bomb in Story Bots, yo!

[Matt Cassatta @MatteFinished]

@ComedianCinema @AlamoNYC @alamodrafthouse Start in Staten Island is the pro tip.

[Matt Cassatta @MatteFinished]

The Spontaneous Tri-Borough Alamo. All 3 NYC Alamo Drafthouses in one night. @AlamoNYC @alamodrafthouse

[Matt Cassatta @MatteFinished]

@AlamoNYC This is an honor.