Matthew B Parker

Horror writer. There is more proof for aliens than there is for God

[Matthew B Parker @MatthewBParker]

@usparkpolicepio For…grabbing pieces of the failed liner?

[Matthew B Parker @MatthewBParker]

@BasedMikeLee That’s right, you pretend to not know Joe Wilson, @mtgreenee, or your own outbursts

[Matthew B Parker @MatthewBParker]

@seanhannity doesn’t like Ben Franklin. Don’t believe me? Just listen to his latest ad

[Matthew B Parker @MatthewBParker]

@2White4AFlyGuy @PerryALPHA @jakepaul You just said what I was going to say

[Matthew B Parker @MatthewBParker]

@PatriotBlackCat @libsoftiktok You are a very sad and sick person. I recommend you get a hobby or a pet. No, I’d hate to see an animal in your hands. I suppose if a guy had the middle name Marie, he’d be trans too?

[Matthew B Parker @MatthewBParker]

@recruitTaji591 @PatriotBlackCat @libsoftiktok Shouldn’t your uvula say Trump?

[Matthew B Parker @MatthewBParker]

@DetectiveACox
If you have a project in the works, let me know. I’ve always been a fan of yours

[Matthew B Parker @MatthewBParker]

@realDonaldTrump Geez, you’re starting a war? You said you stopped several

[Matthew B Parker @MatthewBParker]

@RepMTG You’re doing good. Release the fucking files!

[Matthew B Parker @MatthewBParker]

Does anyone what to help me put a fishing line around the world?

[Matthew B Parker @MatthewBParker]

@elonmusk I’ve been waiting over a minute for a reply

[Matthew B Parker @MatthewBParker]

@elonmusk Grok, what is the best horror movie ever?

[Matthew B Parker @MatthewBParker]

Hey man, that’s ok. There’s nothing wrong with working things out with your wife. It doesn’t make you less of a man

[Matthew B Parker @MatthewBParker]

@seanhannity Will you address the Young Republicans?

[Matthew B Parker @MatthewBParker]

You’re probably too frightened. Linda won’t let you. Or maybe Ainsley

[Matthew B Parker @MatthewBParker]

You’re probably too frightened. Linda won’t let you. Or maybe Ainsley

[Matthew B Parker @MatthewBParker]

@realDonaldTrump Since you demolished the East Wing, is Melania ok?

[Matthew B Parker @MatthewBParker]

@naretevduorp Goddamn yes!

[Matthew B Parker @MatthewBParker]

@shani_3 @ClearlyK9Mona @ConanOBrien @jimmykimmel I heard Epstein married his brother to get Caribbean citizenship, but those files got lost so he was a secret producer on Apprentice, but no one will release those documents

[Matthew B Parker @MatthewBParker]

@ConanOBrien @jimmykimmel In the spirit of consistency, any network has the right to fire or hire anyone. I personally think Jimmy Kimmel should’ve been fired awhile ago for not being funny. What’s at stake is whether or not the govt had a say in this. That would be a clear 1A violation