Matthew

Iraq, great place to visit, wouldn't want to live there (again). No great stories ever started with “I’ll have a water and a salad”

[Matthew @MatthewElijah]

Watch this. It’s amazing

[Young George Washington @washingtonmovie]

Young Washington marches into theaters this 4th of July weekend, just in time for America's 250th. Tickets are on sale NOW!

[Matthew @MatthewElijah]

@KFCBarstool damn that was fun. Thanks for running it back

[Matthew @MatthewElijah]

It’s hard not to be romantic about baseball.

[Jason Sobel @JasonSobelGolf]

Might not sound like much, but the fact that NBC producer Tommy Roy shows at least one shot from all 156 competitors each year is a hell of a tradition.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯_夏樹蒼依 @japan_nobunaga]

Stateside, a gas station. I drank a frozen blue beverage too quickly, and was struck down by a punishment this entire nation knows, and accepts, and has named.

The drink is called a slush. Ice, sweetness, and a blue that does not occur in nature. The day was hot. I was thirsty. I drank like a soldier at a river.

The pain arrived in my skull like a war horn.

Behind the eyes. Above everything. Total. I gripped the roof of my car. I may have made a sound.

"Brain freeze," said the cashier through the door, with no urgency whatsoever.

It has a NAME. The affliction is so common it has a household name, like a cousin.

"Tongue on the roof of your mouth," called a man at the pumps. He did not look over. He prescribed the remedy mid-pump, casually, the way one mentions weather.

I pressed my tongue to the roof of my mouth. The war horn faded. The healer nodded at his pump, finished, and was gone in a Chevrolet.

In my land, punishment follows crime by way of courts and seasons. Here, the sentence is instant. Drink with greed, and the ice strikes the mind directly. No trial. No appeal. Perfectly fair.

And here is what moves me. EVERYONE has felt it. The cashier. The healer. Children. Elders. An entire nation united by the same small lightning, all taught the same cure, all passing it on to strangers at gas stations, free of charge.

You cannot fully distrust a country once you know it shares one pain.

The freeze does not punish thirst. It punishes haste.

I finished the slush slowly, like a scholar. Blue tongue. Clear mind.

Then at the door I forgot everything, drank deeply, and was struck down again.

"Tongue, hon," said the cashier, without looking up.

Discipline is a journey.

[Barstool Sports @barstoolsports]

FLO BALOGUN IS PUTTING THE ENTIRE COUNTRY ON HIS BACK 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

[Matthew @MatthewElijah]

God Bless America. What a night. 🇺🇸

[Matthew @MatthewElijah]

Teach them young “Go Cubs Go”

[Matthew @MatthewElijah]

Love minor league baseball

[Matthew @MatthewElijah]

Love minor league baseball

[Matthew @MatthewElijah]

Adopt don’t shop. Niko and Nash

[js9innings @js9inningsmedia]

Never forget when Brian “Mayor” Keaton, a U.S. Army Sgt threw out the first pitch like throwing a grenade 😅

[Matthew @MatthewElijah]

“How can you not be romantic about baseball?”

[Matthew @MatthewElijah]

@elonmusk is there a way to lock in @grok response at the top of the comments when someone asks a question? I’d like to see the answer and can’t.

[Matthew @MatthewElijah]

Funny until you’re in Iraq/Iran

[Matthew @MatthewElijah]

@JoeyAX Waiting

[Matthew @MatthewElijah]

@JoeyAX You have no idea. Text me 515-776-2202

[Matthew @MatthewElijah]

@TheShotgunStart I need a Whoop on PJ, stat

[Matthew @MatthewElijah]

@sweethome220 you know I just got discharged. Where are you?

[Matthew @MatthewElijah]

@JoeyAX Tell them about the pagers Joe