ᴹᵃᵗᵗ

5-time nba champion • film critic • head coach of the @dallascowboys • stroker • possibly 6’1 • official ummcarlitoes fan page

[ᴹᵃᵗᵗ @MatthewGarza_]

when it’s all said and done, dak prescott changed my bitch ass life

[ᴹᵃᵗᵗ @MatthewGarza_]

@shawarmano roommates cat has given me some gnarly scratches for just existing in the same space

[ᴹᵃᵗᵗ @MatthewGarza_]

@UmmCarlitoes goodbye future employers, hello prostitution✌🏽💔

[ᴹᵃᵗᵗ @MatthewGarza_]

seeing okc caruso slander on the tl

[ᴹᵃᵗᵗ @MatthewGarza_]

cucking these starbucks employees

[ᴹᵃᵗᵗ @MatthewGarza_]

a24 just taking all my ideas

[jack @imgbyj]

PRIMETIME (2026)

[ᴹᵃᵗᵗ @MatthewGarza_]

another reason i don’t like sga cause he the only one on the court that be letting his booty eat his shorts

[ᴹᵃᵗᵗ @MatthewGarza_]

@markitoes05 @shawarmano

[ᴹᵃᵗᵗ @MatthewGarza_]

@shawarmano that’s just playoffs bball🐻‍❄️

[ᴹᵃᵗᵗ @MatthewGarza_]

@UmmCarlitoes

[ᴹᵃᵗᵗ @MatthewGarza_]

got a new ui to learn

[ᴹᵃᵗᵗ @MatthewGarza_]

completed a 3 page memo, 3 page paper, 46 question exam, and snuck into my lecture to submit my quiz in the last 6 hours

[ᴹᵃᵗᵗ @MatthewGarza_]

@UmmCarlitoes you b tier now

[ᴹᵃᵗᵗ @MatthewGarza_]

2026 end goal: get fat ash and join a competitive pro paintball league

[ᴹᵃᵗᵗ @MatthewGarza_]

no canvas tn: 5 miles, shaolin soccer

[ᴹᵃᵗᵗ @MatthewGarza_]

@UmmCarlitoes

[ᴹᵃᵗᵗ @MatthewGarza_]

.@UmmCarlitoes

[FutaCockDocker @FutaCockDocker]

Saw oomfs incredible ass