Matthew Hassell

my work here is dumb.

[Matthew Hassell @MatthewHassell1]

Fuck this app run by a narcissist wanna be tyrant. Come join me on Mastodon. @[email protected]

[Matthew Hassell @MatthewHassell1]

You’re only as good as the penis jokes you don’t make.

[Matthew Hassell @MatthewHassell1]

Lava lamps are a physical model of the trauma cycle

[Matthew Hassell @MatthewHassell1]

Why did Twitter just try to re-confirm my email? Don’t you know?

[Matthew Hassell @MatthewHassell1]

Gestures are the things we make that we leave behind.

[Matthew Hassell @MatthewHassell1]

Fire provides warmth because the slow beautiful destruction of all things is actually what life is about.

[Matthew Hassell @MatthewHassell1]

The craziest thing is that a piano is just a box of tiny hammers and vibrating strings…that most of the worlds music was once composed on

[Matthew Hassell @MatthewHassell1]

As a 39 year old, one third of my day consists of explaining internet jokes to people who have already seen them

[Matthew Hassell @MatthewHassell1]

Never expect everyone’s shine to look the same. A lot of people out here are shining in a way that you may not understand. You gotta be empathetic and ready for that.

[Matthew Hassell @MatthewHassell1]

Everyone is complaining about and leaving this app because @elonmusk took over @Twitter, but maybe this is a really good time to see a major media outlet crash and burn at the hands of some fumbling public figure.

[Matthew Hassell @MatthewHassell1]

When you get older you even stretch before you sleep, injuries lurk behind every pillow.

[Matthew Hassell @MatthewHassell1]

“Drat” is the colloquial inverse of “Darn” or whatever.

[Matthew Hassell @MatthewHassell1]

You get almost anything done if you have enough clamps and elastic bands on hand.

[Matthew Hassell @MatthewHassell1]

When two people in agreement state out loud that they are in a band, a new band has been formed. For who am I to stand before gawd and defy the existence of new life? This sacred union begins at conception.

[Matthew Hassell @MatthewHassell1]

@Emilyneverdoes This is truly scary Halloween content

[Matthew Hassell @MatthewHassell1]

In our age of time-dimensional conceptual art, even just having the thought about making the next piece is the same as actually making it.

[Matthew Hassell @MatthewHassell1]

Generally you can tell when a black-bear is up to no good cuz you see him outside the 7-11 and he says something like, “got a light?”

[Matthew Hassell @MatthewHassell1]

Most of speaking French is mashing all the consonants together and blasting them out the back of the word in an expulsion of cigarette smoke.

[Matthew Hassell @MatthewHassell1]

The tether opposite of a subway token is a Bitcoin.

[Matthew Hassell @MatthewHassell1]

I live between worlds between worlds and times within spaces