Matthew Is Still Not On X

[Matthew Is Still Not On X @MatthewISNOX]

"Smell my finger."

[Matthew Is Still Not On X @MatthewISNOX]

I think he found a mirror.

[Matthew Is Still Not On X @MatthewISNOX]

@SJSHeartbeat That famous third world disease that has never been seen in the UK, AIDS.

[Matthew Is Still Not On X @MatthewISNOX]

I'm sure this photo choice is entirely coincidental.

Especially given it's both not in the linked article, and is of a hotel in Spain, nowhere near the UK.

Yep, definitely not racist. Definitely definitely.

[Matthew Is Still Not On X @MatthewISNOX]

Damn those lesbians, and their pesky... existing...

So lefty.

[Matthew Is Still Not On X @MatthewISNOX]

@TerryF1010 Who wants to teach this one about the birds and the bees?

[Matthew Is Still Not On X @MatthewISNOX]

Been bucketing it down non stop over there in Slough... and they paid for the privilege. The match this afternoon was phenomenally piss poor too.

Ha ha!

[Matthew Is Still Not On X @MatthewISNOX]

And as for that specific photo?

From a completely unrelated migrant incident, relating to Spain and the Canary islands, three years ago.

[Matthew Is Still Not On X @MatthewISNOX]

For those who would like proof:

[Matthew Is Still Not On X @MatthewISNOX]

@SJSHeartbeat Sadly, the photo - despite being of completely unrelated people, hundreds of miles away in Spain - has had exactly the effect you would have predicted in the comments section.

[Matthew Is Still Not On X @MatthewISNOX]

Still, at least they actually went, eh?

I mean, they could have pretended to go see Norwich City.
Or pretended to see one of the Gallaghers.
Or pretended to have a migrant girlfriend and a dog.
Or pretended to have a life.

[Matthew Is Still Not On X @MatthewISNOX]

"People I don't know went to a festival, and might be having a worse time than they anticipated due to the weather! This affects me in literally no way, and yet, as other people are now sadder.. ha ha!"

Seriously, Liam, who hurt you?

And can more people hurt you, please? Kthx.

[Matthew Is Still Not On X @MatthewISNOX]

But LT, by definition, when you made it, THIS was your most recent tweet.

xx

[Matthew Is Still Not On X @MatthewISNOX]

(the other three being World War 2, migrants and football, obviously)

[Matthew Is Still Not On X @MatthewISNOX]

"HEY, THAT IS ONE OF THE FOUR THINGS THAT FORMS MY ENTIRE IDENTITY! WAIT FOR ME!"

[Matthew Is Still Not On X @MatthewISNOX]

Guess he's found the Norwich City loss really hard to get over, eh?

[Matthew Is Still Not On X @MatthewISNOX]

At some point, he's going to work out his YouTube followers don't have the same love for football that he does.

(And may, somehow, even be a little MORE racist...)

[Matthew Is Still Not On X @MatthewISNOX]

One of these people already tweeted exactly what you apparently want them to say, four hours before you posted.

The other probably hates you, given you have a tendency to randomly insult his wife on LinkedIn, just because you used to work for her at a company that fired you.

[Matthew Is Still Not On X @MatthewISNOX]

How could Norwich have 'put them to the sword before the first 10 mins'?

Is he suggesting we should have stabbed them before kick off? Or just somehow scored before kick off, at least?

Seriously, what the fuck has happened to this man's command of the English language?

[Matthew Is Still Not On X @MatthewISNOX]

I really wish he wouldn't keep cursing our mutual football team, y'know.