Someone watches their first ever hockey game tonight. It's outside in Florida, one team shows up in football uniforms, the other as 1700s Patriots, one coach is Scarface, the goalies fight, and at the end they do a bunch of breakaways to break the tie. Fever dream sport.
I would love to be a professional baseball pitcher in the major leagues and the sports announcers say, of me, while I am on the mound, “this is what they have left”