Matthew W Murphy

Cancer survivor. Girl dad. Author of "Who Shot the Mouse?", an Anaheim murder mystery. Now on Kindle Unlimited!

[Matthew W Murphy @MatthewWMurphy1]

It's official. My book is now available on Amazon! https://t.co/iwC0psxP1d

[Matthew W Murphy @MatthewWMurphy1]

The reviews are in!

https://t.co/H5lNTjdyqa

[Matthew W Murphy @MatthewWMurphy1]

https://t.co/A51MKewSWo

[Matthew W Murphy @MatthewWMurphy1]

Having some personal stuff right now so I'm taking a break for now. Planning to come back May 1.

[Matthew W Murphy @MatthewWMurphy1]

The Package has gone from never clapping to clapping CONSTANTLY.

My wife saw her clapping in her sleep.

[Matthew W Murphy @MatthewWMurphy1]

After like 2000 repetitions, my wife had decided that the single worst piece of English she's ever heard was "and Bingo was his name-o".

[Matthew W Murphy @MatthewWMurphy1]

She also figured out when she talks into the end of an empty soda bottle she sounds like Darth Vader.

[Matthew W Murphy @MatthewWMurphy1]

The Package is now blowing raspberries.

[Matthew W Murphy @MatthewWMurphy1]

Had a light freeze last week, then this week it hit 100. Six days apart.

Living in the desert is wild.

[Matthew W Murphy @MatthewWMurphy1]

Tired: The Miss Rachel video the Package has seen a thousand times.

Wired: Some cheap version of the alphabet song sung by someone with an Indian accent.

[Matthew W Murphy @MatthewWMurphy1]

I tried to teach the baby to clap yesterday. She waited until bedtime, then started clapping like mad.

It was super cute.

But not cute enough.

[Matthew W Murphy @MatthewWMurphy1]

What kind of accent does Cookie Monster have?

Is he Italian?

[Matthew W Murphy @MatthewWMurphy1]

The Package likes to moan whenever the car stops moving for a few seconds.

Which means I now have two women telling me how to drive.

[Matthew W Murphy @MatthewWMurphy1]

@espinacas Seems like a great time to have sex.

[Matthew W Murphy @MatthewWMurphy1]

I can't always tell if a book is written by a Baby Boomer, but I do get suspicious after the third gratuitous Beatles reference.

[Matthew W Murphy @MatthewWMurphy1]

My wife caught me saying of the Package "when she was a kid". Well how else am I supposed to describe the first couple months?

[Matthew W Murphy @MatthewWMurphy1]

The pool was closed. 😥

[Matthew W Murphy @MatthewWMurphy1]

@CedricDaGodson1 @BerrynTwigs @nflrums In fairness, the other 31 teams keep missing stuff like this too, which may be why the Chiefs keep picking their pockets.

[Matthew W Murphy @MatthewWMurphy1]

Going to be 98 today in Tucson.

Pool time, bitches.

[Matthew W Murphy @MatthewWMurphy1]

Holy God, yesterday was a day.