Matty Hill

[addy nuff x @GLNatashaxo]

You had boiling water thrown on you?

I don’t think you have, mate.

[United Zone @ManUnitedZone]

𝟐𝟏 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐆𝐔𝐄 𝐀𝐒𝐒𝐈𝐒𝐓𝐒 🎯 🔴

𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐁𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊𝐄𝐑 🎩

[Rob Usry @RobUsry]

Say fucking less

[SP @sspencerukk]

Van Persie 44’
13th June 2014

[Tom Garratt @Tgarratt10]

Footballs the bollocks 🤣🤣🤣

[cнєєкυ⋆｡🪐˚ ⋆ @Okay_Bye___]

‘wyd?’

Me: ‘Nothing’

*Incoming call*

[Liam UTFT @LiamT30EFC]

Gay as fuck you mean

[BGPIntern @BGPIntern]

Fucking Lossiemouth last week:

[Tom Garratt @Tgarratt10]

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Wes @Wesbwfcagain1]

Hi @LloydsBank I’d like to report some fraudulent activity on my account something about Cheltenham and skybet or something please advise

[Josh @Joshnorton193]

Hopefully there’s some crumbs at the bottom of toaster left for tea tonight.
Cheltenham day 2 🚮

[Michael Toro @MichaelToro340]

Pulling up 10 minutes late to my tee time to ask what the course record is

[le.hl @0xleegenz]

No debt
Ideal weight
8 hours of sleep
Mental health on track
Right nutrition
Zero Alcohol

This was my peak

I was 8

[Sky Sports Premier League @SkySportsPL]

Benjamin Sesko scores after coming on as a sub once again to give Manchester United the lead 💥

[me irl @me_when_irl]

When you finish downloading GTA 6 and you hear someone in China just ate a bat again

[ITV Racing @itvracing]

Jonbon: 111121111211112111112122211

Jonbon in Grade 1 Races: 211211121111212211

Jonbon at Ascot: 1111

Some horse, @NdeBoinville?

[ɴᴀᴅɪ.🎀༘ @luvblessingz]

Mosquitoes when they see you have shorts on:

[🅓🅞🅝🅨 @Rmadonyfc_]

“Finished Casemiro” Vs “Best CDMs in EPL”

[basheer… @basheertk_]

0 league titles 0 league titles

“Biggest upgrades in football history”

[Adam @AdamJoseph]

Cristiano Ronaldo joined from Sporting for £12m in his age 18 season. He had 14 goals & assists in 40 apps (168.2 mins per G/A).

Florian Wirtz joined from Leverkusen for £116m in his age 23 season. He has 10 goals & assists in 30 apps (206.9 mins per G/A).

In Cristiano Ronaldo's age 23 season, he won the Premier League, Champions League, the Ballon d'Or, FIFA World POTY, UEFA Club Footballer of the Year, PL Golden Boot, CL Golden Boot, European Golden Shoe, PL POTY & was named in the FIFPro World XI.

Oh, and he had 51 G/A. I'm embarrassed for you.