Matthew 🌹

Love, Rosie enthusiast. Sparkling water despiser.

[Matthew 🌹 @Matty_liv]

@ninadavies58 The scenes after you lose tip it

[Matthew 🌹 @Matty_liv]

5’7” that’s like, really fucking tall right? Like that’s high, that’s tall…

[Matthew 🌹 @Matty_liv]

Bloody love the Olympics, me

[Matthew 🌹 @Matty_liv]

What shade of red should I cook myself today

[Matthew 🌹 @Matty_liv]

Fucking loser. I had sex when I was 18

[ABC News @ABC]

BREAKING: Oliver Daemen, 18, becomes the youngest person ever to fly to space. https://t.co/yX1aV0Lu6z #BlueOrigin

[Matthew 🌹 @Matty_liv]

No it’s not 🙄

[Matthew 🌹 @Matty_liv]

“I don’t know babe, it’s cold/ not a good day/ I’m tired/ I had a whisky last night/ it’s Long Covid”

[Matthew 🌹 @Matty_liv]

That’s another excuse in the bag

[Matthew 🌹 @Matty_liv]

I’m really sorry sir we’re actually out of mixed grills, would you like something else instead?

“Can you do a large mixed grill?”

[Matthew 🌹 @Matty_liv]

If anyone receives a fire emoji reaction from me tonight please take it up with @BudweiserUK or @BrewDog - I will accept no responsibility

[Matthew 🌹 @Matty_liv]

I fucking hate Jeff Bezos and everything he stands for. I’m done being a slave to his-

[Matthew 🌹 @Matty_liv]

@emily_jayne_cox You’re the worst

[Matthew 🌹 @Matty_liv]

Customers please keep leaving your used masks on your tables I absolutely love clearing them up, it’s so safe and hygienic 18 months into a pandemic xxx

[Matthew 🌹 @Matty_liv]

Did he get his wife to film this

[Matthew 🌹 @Matty_liv]

So suddenly Matt’s with dodgy hairlines are getting shags now?

[Matthew 🌹 @Matty_liv]

@katielucieyoung I won’t touch a burger if it’s not between a brioche bun

[Matthew 🌹 @Matty_liv]

@FranCavolina Yes the fuck yes

[Matthew 🌹 @Matty_liv]

Odds on a customer saying please or thank you