Max Furlan

Let the wild rumpus begin

[Ry Passle @RyPassle]

#PourCoffeeOnYourWorkKeyboardChallenge

[gabe @allgarbled]

Every pro athlete talking about money is like, “the thing you don’t get, is that $35 million is really not a lot of money once you’ve spent it all”

[Masters Burner @ANGC_burner]

The year of the liberal golfer can only hope to be contained at this point.

[Kapt'n Krunch 🛠️⚓ @KaptainKrunch97]

the existence of TSA Agents in Paw Patrol implies that 9/11 happened in the Paw Patrol universe therefore confirming the existence of Paw-Qaeda

[Assman @Guntreloaded]

My wife: I'm fucking someone else

Me: (chuckling) you've just given me the moral high ground

[mooms : WCP (world cup pervert) @Danny_McMoomins]

Who is Doctor Congo and why is he facing Portugal by himself?

[DJ Vlad @djvlad]

If the Knicks waited 53 years for a ring, so can your girlfriend.

[𝔽eral ℙawg ℍunter @FeralPHunter]

What’s a good Ick to give women for someone just getting into giving women the Ick

[Nick Volpe @nvolpewild]

Ivory Coast becomes the FIRST team in this World Cup to win whilst having LESS Bird species than their opposition! 😲

[sc @SneakyCanadian]

Shit I see when I take 25 Benadryls.

[KUSO 🔞 URAGONER gamedev @kuso_otoko]

no, whales are cool, I just didn’t expect them to be chinese

[John Ruf @JohnRuf6]

I proudly only ever park my car illegally so my ticket dollars go to the great city of Chicago instead of Saudi Arabia.

[roku @rokuxvii]

pro tip just get in shape so you can justify having unusual/weird hobbies

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

have we checked all food to see if
exploding them makes them into something better or did we just stop with corn

[taoki @justalexoki]

can't believe i spent my whole life becoming Good At Computer only for Computer to become Better At Computer

[Noah Garfinkel @NoahGarfinkel]

Physicist 120 years ago: Maybe the inside of an atom is like plum pudding.

Physicist today: Light doesn’t experience time. All this shit might not even be real.

[Daily Bugle Janitorial @abysmaldogwater]

unfortunately the catholic church declaring holy war on AI is raw af

[𝒢𝒾𝓁𝒷ℯ𝓇𝓉 @AbakpaJob]

sometimes the green sauce is spicier than the red, despite being the color of medicine or soothing jungle foliage. there's no way to adequately account for this

[josh @y0cuando]

Pronouncing oatmeal like Montreal

[JD Flynn @jdflynn]

buddy, I was writing 10 page papers without having read the book.