Phillip Jedi Master

I'm 47 and I like computers and computer games and kids and Chuck E. Cheeses' and Playstation and Popes especially Pope Jerry Softbottom. Page me. 626-867-5309

[I love my wife Tammy #TeamTammy #CureALS @MyWifehasALS]

If each cigarette cuts a day off your life, my still living and drunk aunt Janet should have died back in 1977.

[I love my wife Tammy #TeamTammy #CureALS @MyWifehasALS]

Nothing takes the sting away from 4 hours of chemo like a wonderful Marlboro light.

[I love my wife Tammy #TeamTammy #CureALS @MyWifehasALS]

Woke up this morning and discovered my dream catcher had committed suicide.

[I love my wife Tammy #TeamTammy #CureALS @MyWifehasALS]

I can't wait to eat Bruce Jenner's pussy.

[I love my wife Tammy #TeamTammy #CureALS @MyWifehasALS]

JUST EAT THE GLUTEN YOU FUCKING ASSHOLES.

[I love my wife Tammy #TeamTammy #CureALS @MyWifehasALS]

Your kids macaroni necklace is fucking hidious.

[I love my wife Tammy #TeamTammy #CureALS @MyWifehasALS]

Dear Islam, you're a cartoonish bunch of cunt murderers.

[I love my wife Tammy #TeamTammy #CureALS @MyWifehasALS]

It's only gay if someone shows up wearing a bow tie. #ItsOnlyGay

[I love my wife Tammy #TeamTammy #CureALS @MyWifehasALS]

It's just a matter of time until we all are enjoying the "Kool-aid Kwanzaa Bowl."

[I love my wife Tammy #TeamTammy #CureALS @MyWifehasALS]

These domestic violence comercials make me want to strike somebody in the mouth.

[I love my wife Tammy #TeamTammy #CureALS @MyWifehasALS]

I'm not talking about Janice, but I know a girl that has the stinkiest vagina and her name is not Janice. #SubTweet.

[I love my wife Tammy #TeamTammy #CureALS @MyWifehasALS]

You call it a butthole, I call it the "7 day vagina."

[I love my wife Tammy #TeamTammy #CureALS @MyWifehasALS]

You're not bipolar, you're just a cunt.

[I love my wife Tammy #TeamTammy #CureALS @MyWifehasALS]

You telling me that my love making is more boring than your husbands is not helping anything Ruth Johnson.

[I love my wife Tammy #TeamTammy #CureALS @MyWifehasALS]

I'm writing a children's play titled " Whatever is in uncle Tom's pants tastes like pennies." It's a autobiography of sorts.

[I love my wife Tammy #TeamTammy #CureALS @MyWifehasALS]

"At least I'm not a Buccaneers fan." -- Raider fan.

[I love my wife Tammy #TeamTammy #CureALS @MyWifehasALS]

Car trunks were originally invented to store Henry Ford's mother's dildos.

[I love my wife Tammy #TeamTammy #CureALS @MyWifehasALS]

I like my ladies like my coffee, with buttholes.

[I love my wife Tammy #TeamTammy #CureALS @MyWifehasALS]

RT if you're holding a penis.

[I love my wife Tammy #TeamTammy #CureALS @MyWifehasALS]

My motorcycle gang yelled the "F" word at me, what does faggot mean?