Max and Paddy Quotes

[Max and Paddy Quotes @Max_PaddyQuotes]

Max: Dirty pig, dirty pig. This is our home!

[Max and Paddy Quotes @Max_PaddyQuotes]

Max: Put the gun down, Billy, you can have the extra point!

[Max and Paddy Quotes @Max_PaddyQuotes]

Paddy: A Mekon. I'm telling you, them lads can't eat nothing.
Max: A vegan, you tool.

[Max and Paddy Quotes @Max_PaddyQuotes]

Max: Thatcher's Britain

[Max and Paddy Quotes @Max_PaddyQuotes]

Max: This is clearly a case of mistaken identity.
Paddy: You what? Forty kids on a coach, what did we think it were, a stag party?

[Max and Paddy Quotes @Max_PaddyQuotes]

Paddy: It's called personal hygiene, Max. You should try it sometime.
Max: What's that supposed to mean?
Paddy: In a nutshell: You stink.

[Max and Paddy Quotes @Max_PaddyQuotes]

Max: DIRTY PIG, DIRTY PIG!

[Max and Paddy Quotes @Max_PaddyQuotes]

Max: Put the cake down flower and piss off.

[Max and Paddy Quotes @Max_PaddyQuotes]

Max: How dare you, how dare you! I have a good stand-up-wash in that sink once a WEEK!
Paddy: Once a week, stray dogs wash more than that!

[Max and Paddy Quotes @Max_PaddyQuotes]

Max: For the love of god, go and get help. My balls have gone up in to my stomach!!!

[Max and Paddy Quotes @Max_PaddyQuotes]

Paddy: You're a man, I'm a woman and you want me. Yeah thats right, you want me, I'm a woman. I'M A WOMAN AND YOU WANT ME!

[Max and Paddy Quotes @Max_PaddyQuotes]

[Paddy pulls off an unbelievably shit dance move]
Max: Where dya learn that?
Paddy: On the streets. Look and learn flower, look and learn.

[Max and Paddy Quotes @Max_PaddyQuotes]

Paddy: Play with feathers, you get your arse tickled!

[Max and Paddy Quotes @Max_PaddyQuotes]

Cliff Richard: Hi, Guys. Do you fancy a game of tennis? Mixed Doubles?
Paddy: I've told you, we've no balls Cliff.

[Max and Paddy Quotes @Max_PaddyQuotes]

Max: She was a kind of midget
Paddy: Isn't that a Queen song?

[Max and Paddy Quotes @Max_PaddyQuotes]

Max: Dwarfs for your information are in the circus and do cartwheels. Midgets are like normal people just shrunk down.

[Max and Paddy Quotes @Max_PaddyQuotes]

Max: You have no respect for women do you?
Paddy: No. Do you know why? Because they only want you for one thing, Everything!

[Max and Paddy Quotes @Max_PaddyQuotes]

Paddy: Waste o' money? WASTE O' MONEY? WE'VE BOUGHT A PLASMA SCREEN WI' NO SPEAKERS. NO WONDER WE'RE EATIN' BIG BOBS BASTARD BEANS!

[Max and Paddy Quotes @Max_PaddyQuotes]

Paddy: Why d'you keep buying cheap crap, bloody 4p beans and Al-Qaeda water?
Max: Exactly that reason Patrick, it's cheap.

[Max and Paddy Quotes @Max_PaddyQuotes]

Paddy: Is he Chinese?
Max: No, I only 'ad a yellow felt tip.