Ahmir

I'm a lost cause, baby, don't waste your time on me. I'm so damaged beyond repair, life has shattered my hopes and my dreams... - Jelly Roll

[⋆ @lowkeyalbert]

How it feels living in a household where one persons mood determines the mood for the whole house.

[kat @yslnadi]

me trying to fix my sleep schedule but the world is so nice and quiet from 12-5am

[autist @litteralyme0]

real

[Angelo @angelodotsui]

when you know that pichu evolves into pikachu through friendship

[MAGIKARP🦈💦 @UniteVids]

My favorite horror movie is when Mimikyu sees the reflection of his true self in the water and drowns in the sea

[caroline :) @soonrightaway]

twitter algorithm does this cool thing where it knows that i’m posting about wanting to kill myself so it decides that i actually want to see more posts about how it would be good to kill myself

[🦋 @leftunsents]

i’m just so tired of this. my body is tired, my mind is a mess. i just really want to lay in bed and never get up. i'm just so tired of life

[şevval @sevvaladen]

içimde bir yerlere dokundu,kaç kez izledim bilmiyorum..

[Ari🪷 @arikoyarii]

do you ever notice yourself getting bad again. like, you know you’re not doing work that needs to be done, you know you’re not cleaning, you know you’re not taking care of yourself, you know all the things you need to do to start trying to feel better. but you just can’t

[Orihime @Orihime_chan0]

This animation beautifully captures exactly how introverts make friends 😭

[Sophia ❣️ @KeruboSk]

Neurotypicals: “I forgot, sorry.”

ADHDers: “I remembered it at 4am. I remembered it in the shower. I remembered it three separate times on Tuesday. And then, at the exact moment I needed it… it vanished. I’m really sorry.”

[Massimo @Rainmaker1973]

The odds of being slapped by a random turtle in the middle of the ocean are low, but never zero.

[Sebastian™ @Azariel91]

The smugness on her face melting into fear was fucking delicious.I love when " crazy" people meet people who are crazy for real. I guarantee she won't do that again🤣🤣
It was at this moment she knew she’d fuq’d up. 🤣🤣🤣🤣FAFO

[Interesting things @awkwardgoogle]

The waiter, being attacked suddenly, recalls his boxing training.

[6ɪx✦ @ok6ixx]

(A really cute girl is at my till buying coffee, completely locked in on her phone, typing away 😭)

Cute girl: still looking down “One Caramel Frap, small please. Thanks.”

Me: “Yeah sure, coming right up!”

(I make her drink, come back to the counter and place it down)

Me: “Here you go, ma’am. That’ll be $4.05.”

(She pays me with a $5 bill and finally looks up)

She freezes.

Like… proper freezes 😭 eyes wide, mouth slightly open, just staring at me

I’m suddenly nervous for no reason

this goes on for like 10 awkward seconds before she blinks fast like she just rebooted

Cute girl: “uhh… yeah… ok… I… I… um… one sec”

takes deep breath

“has this ever happened to you before?”

Me: “uhh… I don’t think I follow”

Cute girl: “this!” she points between me and her like I’m supposed to understand

Me: “I’m still lost honestly…”

Cute girl: “you know… a girl sees your face and just freezes?? like fully glitches?? and it’s obvious she’s attracted??”

(now the whole café starts listening 😭 people slowing down, pretending not to stare)

someone literally goes “awww”

I just go: “uh… not really”

She suddenly snatches the $5 back from me 😭

then pulls out a $100 bill and drops it on the counter

Cute girl: “ok listen. I’m gonna walk out like I forgot my change… if you follow me out to return it, it means you want my number and dinner this week. if you don’t, just put it in the tip jar.”

then she just walks out like nothing happened

dead silence in the café

Customer behind me: “bro GO 😭😭”

Coworker: “that’s literally your wife don’t mess this up”

even my manager is just standing there like 🧍🏽‍♂️ “don’t be stupid”

I grab her change, shake a little, and write my number on a receipt paper

I go outside

Me: “uhh… your change. and… my number.”

She smiles.

like actually smiles 😭

Cute girl: “good choice”

and just walks off

I go back inside and the whole café erupts 😭 clapping, screaming, someone yelling “SHE WON”

my manager just goes: “free espresso shots for everybody. don’t talk to me for the next hour.”

[Mark Gadala-Maria @markgadala]

This story is insane:

• american streamer goes to south korea to do content like a lunatic
• dances on a memorial for wwii sex slaves, plays north korean propaganda on the subway, throws ramen at a store owner like a psychopath
• the country puts a BOUNTY on his location
• a former korean navy seal finds him and knocks him out cold on a live stream
• he gets arrested, charged with 8 counts including deepfake sexual violence crimes
• shows up to his first court date an hour late, hungover, in a maga hat
• calls south korea a "us vassal state" in open court
• prosecution asks for 3 years hard labor
• his mom files a petition begging the judge for leniency
• his last words before sentencing: "i haven't done anything to offend anyone during these proceedings, which shows i learned my lesson"
• judge sentences him anyway, has him handcuffed in the courtroom on the spot
• and when he finally gets deported back to america, he has to register as a sex offender

[Nature & Animals🌴 @naturelife_ok]

Not me thinking we were having a funeral... i can't do this with him anymore. the drama is just too much. sleep normally i am begging you 😭

[This Account Makes You Happy @FeelYouHappy]

The moment he saw his son, even the taciturn father couldn't hide his excitement. 🥺😍

[cats with powerful impression 🐾 @catshealdeprsn]

She waved at me