David Maxwell

Can you feel it? Something just changed. I believe that's the sound the world makes when it pisses itself.

[David Maxwell @Maxwellism]

@nadinebh_ ..eenth generation of the Qu...ghtmare we feare...o many dead...hy why wh...ustralia broke fir...ny centuries of pati...mper...yone receives this messa...JUMPE...ly took o...QUEUE J...we all thought it would be climat...tle did we k...QUEUE JUMPER...y are coming......

[David Maxwell @Maxwellism]

@onefatman Chasing the Unicorn

[David Maxwell @Maxwellism]

#TheMoonIsMyFilter

[David Maxwell @Maxwellism]

@onefatman actually just statistical error. average turtle meet 0 pelicans per year. Pelicans Jac, who lives between waterfall & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[David Maxwell @Maxwellism]

One Weetbik? Or two Weetbixes? Two Weetbices 🤔

[David Maxwell @Maxwellism]

Why do we shorten day names when we could say them in full. Wednesday? Boring. 100% pronounced incorrectly. I'll see you on Odin's Day? 🤌

[David Maxwell @Maxwellism]

Why is it 'a meteoric rise' when meteors fall 🤔

[David Maxwell @Maxwellism]

@BrandSanderson

[David Maxwell @Maxwellism]

@BrandSanderson I don't take it you or @PeterAhlstrom
confirm, but just in case...

[David Maxwell @Maxwellism]

@PatrickRothfuss #science - Quantum entanglement and radiative far-field techniques make sympathy possible. Sygaldry is as useful as Brexit.

[David Maxwell @Maxwellism]

My girlfriend just told me "You are my Neil deGrasse Tyson". And I thought gravity wave observation had me excited! @neiltyson

[David Maxwell @Maxwellism]

My mistress, impatience, could never compete with my love, beauty. 2016 or 2026, I'll be ready. Take every day you need @PatrickRothfuss

[David Maxwell @Maxwellism]

Sure, I'll totally join Twitter. When they find rivers on Mars.