May Josten

Self created person. I carry my soul everywhere.

[May Josten @MayJosten]

Ok super positive people, just calm down...not everything is a Gift, a Blessing or a Miracle

[May Josten @MayJosten]

Sometimes God has to break you down to bless you up. Learn from your mistakes.

[May Josten @MayJosten]

Time Magazine lists the 140 best Twitter feeds. Maybe later my fax machine will list the best smartphones.

[May Josten @MayJosten]

Inspect your thoughts. Suspect error.

[May Josten @MayJosten]

Her: I love you. Me: I love YouTube.

[May Josten @MayJosten]

Did you sit in sugar because u got a sweet ass

[May Josten @MayJosten]

If I were an old Chinese man I would never say anything, just nod and laugh strategically to freak people out

[May Josten @MayJosten]

What genius named it a "news feed" on Facebook and not "bullshit"?!

[May Josten @MayJosten]

I do shrugs at the gym with like 400 pounds just to show everyone how hard I don't care.

[May Josten @MayJosten]

Women love a man that can cook, tell a lady you're interested in that youll cook anything their heart desires. And pray they say "spaghetti"

[May Josten @MayJosten]

Dear officer, I can't even say the alphabet backwards when I'm sober! I never took AP kindergarten!

[May Josten @MayJosten]

"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away." - Maya Angelou

[May Josten @MayJosten]

I could never break up with my girlfriend...I like her dog too much.

[May Josten @MayJosten]

I don't have an attitude problem...You have a problem with my attitude.. That's your problem, not mine

[May Josten @MayJosten]

I don't mind women using sex as a weapon, it is when they refuse to stab me with it that gets upsetting.

[May Josten @MayJosten]

Hipsters favorite ocean is Frank Ocean.

[May Josten @MayJosten]

I really dont care about a lot of things, but when I do care, I care too much.

[May Josten @MayJosten]

I text you. You don't reply. I feel stupid.

[May Josten @MayJosten]

some of my music makes me want to cuddle for 7 hours & some of my music makes me want to do drugs in a motel room while wearing lingerie

[May Josten @MayJosten]

Me. You. Forever. Please?