¾Tired

yellin yeehaw at all your events

[¾Tired @MaybeEarl]

Sorry. I'm too ACDC for this

[¾Tired @MaybeEarl]

If someone thinks the only way to be sexy is to have shaved legs, then I think the only way to be sexy is to have a waxed asshole

[¾Tired @MaybeEarl]

Can I work remote from the Sam's club Café? Having delicious hotdogs and a cold pink lemonade treat? Nay, I mustn't. This luxury is beyond me.

[¾Tired @MaybeEarl]

Traumatizing each and every one of my friends with a dose of my mother one event at a time

[¾Tired @MaybeEarl]

I have been waiting almost a month for about 5 ingredients to be delivered.

They have all arrived.

I'm about to make the most amazing cup of hot chocolate

[¾Tired @MaybeEarl]

Maaan when Campbell started sellin them cans of soup, Maan, Million dollar idea

[¾Tired @MaybeEarl]

Screaming kicking throwing up sharting in love

[¾Tired @MaybeEarl]

Some of you want to be the smartest one in the room, some of you think that you already are. None of us are smart ok

[¾Tired @MaybeEarl]

If I bumped into you by happenstance, you probably wouldn't even know who I am

[¾Tired @MaybeEarl]

Do you still plan slip and slide parties or do you sux?

[¾Tired @MaybeEarl]

I'm a stalker and I'll never part

[aiman @dumbsoftheart]

what the fuck are you supposed to do from 3-5pm the vibes r just so off napping is the only option

[¾Tired @MaybeEarl]

@Tennessean Yeah I don't trust a system that finds resolve in pumping out opioid prescriptions

[Venmo @Venmo]

if your venmos were a festival lineup

[¾Tired @MaybeEarl]

*sends mom money so she will uber home instead of driving under the influence this weekend*

*sends my sister's mom money so they can play puttputt this weekend*

The universe works in weird ways

[¾Tired @MaybeEarl]

Balls

[¾Tired @MaybeEarl]

I. Want to fuck en screehm

[¾Tired @MaybeEarl]

That hurted

[¾Tired @MaybeEarl]

I just hope people can always talk openly to me