Mayday Amber

"& today I know that tomorrow will shine again golden & bring our hearts back home." 🌅⚓️ LG(B)T🏳️‍🌈 she/her 💕

[Mayday Amber @Mayday_Amber]

Me: what exactly is a beef brisket?
Kevin: it’s where they take ya know.. part of a cow
Me: or the whole cow
Kevin: …yeah.. or the whole cow.. & they smoke it-
Me: does it get them high?
Kevin:

[Mayday Amber @Mayday_Amber]

@VorosTwins Chicken

[Mayday Amber @Mayday_Amber]

When you have so many pictures of @mayday_parade on your phone that Apple identifies them as your “people”
@brooksbetts @DerekSanders @JakeMaydayP

[Mayday Amber @Mayday_Amber]

Few things I hate more than fucking flies.
Go ahead buddy get in my fucking space. I will rip your disgusting ass legs off & set you on fire you hideous wretched demon

[Mayday Amber @Mayday_Amber]

It honestly sounds like there are real live full sized horses in my house but I’m actually just home alone with five cats

[Mayday Amber @Mayday_Amber]

Really glad my barista didn’t just hear this guttural sound my body emitted when I tried this latte 🤤 Black Key never lets me down

[Mayday Amber @Mayday_Amber]

I’ll bet a fiddle of gold against your soul cause I think im sadder than you

[Mayday Amber @Mayday_Amber]

@trixiemattel Goddamn what an icon

[Mayday Amber @Mayday_Amber]

@InternetH0F Can I please get a waffle

[Mayday Amber @Mayday_Amber]

@sethcarlson_ If ur one of us then roll w us

[Mayday Amber @Mayday_Amber]

@peachofababy @hello__caitlin Lowkey that’s hard af

[Mayday Amber @Mayday_Amber]

@hello__caitlin Congratulations Gigi

[Mayday Amber @Mayday_Amber]

@wildtiktokss Oh my god this never dawned on me

[Mayday Amber @Mayday_Amber]

Great Depression state of mind

[Mayday Amber @Mayday_Amber]

A simple joy of motherhood is just how happy the kids are when they get their wet food in the afternoons & listening to all their little lips smackin while they get their lil tummies full 🥰 god I love them so much

[Mayday Amber @Mayday_Amber]

@MarkHamill So much love for both of you 🩵 Happy Birthday Harrison. May the force be with you, always ✨

[Mayday Amber @Mayday_Amber]

The most I can hope for is that someone will settle for me

[Mayday Amber @Mayday_Amber]

“Grandma, what a big butthole you have.”

“BETTER TO SHIT ON YOU WITH”

[Mayday Amber @Mayday_Amber]

I will never believe in anything again

[Mayday Amber @Mayday_Amber]

@ChronicallyShi @Not_CharLatte Thank you for reminding me of this

[Mayday Amber @Mayday_Amber]

“Can you see it in the window?”

“I can feel it in my ass!!”