What a privilege it is to be busy, to be fully engaged, to belong and understand that I am right in the middle of what I used to look forward to. In the midst of the chaos, anxiety and everything in between, I keep going.
Actually at this age people know exactly what they're doing. Take it personally. They know the words they choose, the actions they take, and the silence they give. They know when they are ignoring you, when they are lying, when they are being careless with your feelings. Itโs not a mistake, itโs a choice. People are not children anymore who don't understand the weight of their actions. They are fully aware when they hurt you, when they disrespect you, or when they cross your boundaries. So take it personally, because it is personal. It shows you who they are, what they value, and how much you matter to them. Stop making excuses for people who already showed you what place you hold in their life.
I think the key to keeping a relationship once itโs found is maintaining how highly you value in that person. Value their time. Value their attention. Value them as individuals. Value what you built and how it took you to build it. We often forget the beginning of a relationship was trying to show this person your best self, your happiest self, your goodness. And just maybe if youโre lucky mentally, emotionally, physically they would want the same thing too and want it with you. Somewhere along the way, we get comfortable and complacent. We take for granted the person we used to pray for. We show up, not always as our best selves because this person loves you unconditionally. We forget so easily that getting the relationship wasnโt the goal but maintaining a happy healthy one was. Where the combination of you two enhances you and your life and enhances how you value it. Because when you value someone and something you care for it MORE not less.
Things like Depression, losing a parent, a heartbreak, poverty and a Health problem are things that you will never really understand until you experience them yourself.
God, protect my heart from comparison and doubt. Help me focus on my own lane, my own timing, and my own journey with You. Teach me to be content knowing that what Youโre doing in me is enough.