Mbanacho Brian

Creative Writer. Author.

[Mbanacho Brian @Mbanacho254]

‘Does not wait for doors to be opened.’

[KENYA GOSSIP HUB @kenyasgossips]

A day in the life of CS Oparanya's girlfriend, Mary Biketi. An aspiring politician with interests in Trans-Nzoia county

[Densey Travel @Denseytravel]

Happy International Women’s Day!
#HappyInternationalWomensDay

[Mbanacho Brian @Mbanacho254]

Maoni

[#LifeInMombasa @LifeinMombasa]

Hapa watoa nini? 😅

[Mbanacho Brian @Mbanacho254]

@DaviesKinanga

[Mbanacho Brian @Mbanacho254]

@ohhanxiety 9 + 6 =15
Write down 5 (in my head) and carry 1

1 +5+ 2 =8

Answer is 85

[Mbanacho Brian @Mbanacho254]

Altar? For working from home pastors

[Jenni @hashjenni]

What in the world would yall use this space for🤣

[Mbanacho Brian @Mbanacho254]

PS: No Murima was guzwad in the writing of this post. (8/8)

[Mbanacho Brian @Mbanacho254]

I am sure as we speak, Mama Dorcas Rigathi is crisscrossing the living room, mumbling things under her breath as truthful men sits with his feet on the table, insisting he did nothing wrong. “Of course, you didn’t,” she finally says, sitting across from him. (1/9)

[Mbanacho Brian @Mbanacho254]

“Si I call you kesho tuongee, babes?” because Nabii just walked into the room while on the phone with Kindiki, saying, “Lakini hii Soprano yako ni ya deputy president kweli? Itabidi utafute bass, my friend, sijui kama tunaelewana? (7/8)

[Mbanacho Brian @Mbanacho254]

“All you did is make me a laughing stock. Wamama wangu wa Chama ntawaambia nini sasa? Niambie, Geoffrey, Mr. Truthful men!” The DP sips his coffee and gives one of his sons that look that says he will send him to Baba if he dares touch that remote. (2/9)

[Mbanacho Brian @Mbanacho254]

You only target peaceful and unarmed protestors, right?

[National Police Service-Kenya @NPSOfficial_KE]

We reiterate that as a Service, we do not target journalists in any way, and today's incident is highly regrettable.

[Mbanacho Brian @Mbanacho254]

Today there is a former CS who will be elbowed in the ribs while trying to touch his mamaa, who is suddenly the breadwinner. She will remind him that unlike jobless people she won’t mention, she actually had a busy day and deserve to rest

[Eddy Ashioya @eddyashioya]

Raila was married to our parents. The spell was binding. But what he does not understand, or fails to see, is that his relationship with Gen Z's is purely a situationship. It's an open relationship, and we hate to break the news to him, but we are seeing other people.

[Mbanacho Brian @Mbanacho254]

https://t.co/e7yeJDdPQ4

[Mbanacho Brian @Mbanacho254]

I wouldn’t have denied you,” he says and when Jesus doesn’t smile, he says, “Too soon? My bad.”

He then calls his wife who says, "Kazi ni kusema nipike Chapo, but kuwacha doo ya food is where you draw the line. I swear if it wasn't for Jesus Leo ungekula hizo mbuta zako."

[Mbanacho Brian @Mbanacho254]

Jesus resurrects and goes to meet Peter who ducks under his fishing boat to avoid being seen but Jesus shouts his name, "Peter! Hata ukijificha nimekuona!"

He looks up, feigning confusion, "Jesus! Ni wewe ama macho yangu inanidanganya?"

"Ni Mimi manze. Uko vipi?"

"Not bad.”

[Mbanacho Brian @Mbanacho254]

nimwambie tunacome atupikie Chapo. She is a good cook, man. Chapo soft ziko na layers, achana na ile nini tulikula Last Supper, ngumu kama roho ya Judas Iscariot."

"That was my body I shared with you, man."

"Iza, no offense. But hizo chapo za last supper zingekuwa soft maybe