Rob | the emotions guy

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[Rob | the emotions guy @Me2Us_]

My wife and I got into a fight recently.

And I had no idea why.

I called her on her way to work to discuss finances. We were making some alternations to our monthly budget.

But she seemed 'off' much of the call. She was short with me.

Then, she sent me this text:

[Rob | the emotions guy @Me2Us_]

Men: Get out of “Fix It” Mode in your relationships.

Instead, shift to “Sit In It” mode

It’s the best way to become more emotionally connected to the people you care about.

Avoid solutions. Offer presence.

[Rob | the emotions guy @Me2Us_]

When you’re emotionally “overwhelmed” - get back to homeostasis.

Some ways to do that:

- Take a 20-40 min break

- 5 Senses Exercise: 1 thing you can touch, see, smell, feel, taste

- Breathing exercises

Then, spend time processing the #emotion.

“I feel __ because of __”

[Rob | the emotions guy @Me2Us_]

Even though it’s uncomfortable, leaning into and sitting with others in their grief gives them space to heal.

No need for advice. Just be present.

#grief

[Rob | the emotions guy @Me2Us_]

Here's a mistake (emotionally) UNHEALTHY people make:

They get angry. They get resentful.

And then they WAIT. And hope it gets noticed.

Remember: Resentment indicates you need a boundary.

Just staying “annoyed” doesn't change much.

[Rob | the emotions guy @Me2Us_]

How do couples stay “in like��� for 50+ years?

They build a deep fondness and admiration.

And they do that by establishing rhythms of connection.

It creates a ‘buffer’ for the bad times.

The goal is 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative

[Rob | the emotions guy @Me2Us_]

@Theholisticpsyc As men we approach anger by either:

1. Enlarging

Or

2. Avoiding

And it’s usually tied to our dads demonstration of anger. Our dads reacted with rage or avoided anger to “not be like their dads.”

Here’s to a future where men get space to process and not suppress our anger 🙌🏼

[Rob | the emotions guy @Me2Us_]

"Hey, this may seem out of the blue. But lately, I experienced a [insert common wall]. I feel like it's put up a wall between us. I'm not sure if you've felt this, but if so, can you forgive me?"

Walls are meant to be torn down, not built higher. Start tearing one down today.

[Rob | the emotions guy @Me2Us_]

Are there any walls in your life?

By walls, I mean those barriers to deeper and more authentic connections between you and others. Such as:

- Lack of Boundaries
- Fear of reality
- Ego protection
- Martyr Mindset
- Victim Mentality

Unsure? Here's how to tell:

[Rob | the emotions guy @Me2Us_]

Are you putting up any of these walls with anyone in your life?

If so, try saying this:

[Rob | the emotions guy @Me2Us_]

@Theholisticpsyc Unhealthy people hate healthy boundaries.

[Rob | the emotions guy @Me2Us_]

Spend your 20s healing instead of:

“Trying” and
“Achieving” and
“Gaining”

Because it doesn’t do much to get to the peak ⛰️

And realize you still need healing.

Follow @Me2Us_ to fast track your healing journey… 🚀

[Rob | the emotions guy @Me2Us_]

Can you describe an “emotionally healthy” person?

If so, describe them in the comments.

If not, read one of these books in 2023:

- Boundaries by Townsend/Cloud
- Emotionally Immature Parents by Dr. Gibson
- Drama Free by Nedra Glover Tawwab
- Safe People by Townsend

[Rob | the emotions guy @Me2Us_]

There's a lot of advice on how to spend your 20s 🗣️

“chase experiences”
“get financial stability”
"work hard, play hard"

It's 🗑️.

Spend your 20s:

- healing relationships
- strengthening comfort with emotions
- understanding your family history

Everything else is a bandaid 🩹

[Rob | the emotions guy @Me2Us_]

“Thankfully, I was able to fix it for them.”

orrrrrr maybe....

They would have been better off experiencing the consequences of their actions.

annddd maybe....

You only helped because you felt too uncomfortable letting that happen.

[Rob | the emotions guy @Me2Us_]

In an ideal world:

Everyone would read your mind.

In the real world:

You have to be clear and ask for your needs to be met.