Kyle and myself, currently trying to go to sleep.
Kyle: you know what keeps me up at night?
Me: …What?
Kyle: that “don’t you dare” sounds right but “do not you dare” sounds so wrong.
Please someone save me
I just think the world should know… We went to Fuji’s today and the chef cut up Keith’s french fry to toss to him because he didn’t want the egg. And he freaking caught the piece of french fry.. Why is he an all-star?
BREAKING: A Virginia jury just handed down a stunning verdict, mostly in actor #JohnnyDepp’s favor, at the end of a rollercoaster defamation trial against his ex-wife and actress #AmberHeard.
Looking back through my Timehop memories and Kyle sweetly says “ah I’ll never forget that” then follows up with “unless I get dementia” like what in the world!!!