Meagan Jaskot

[Meagan Jaskot @MeaganJaskot]

Happy lesbian visibility week to “Aladdin”

[Meagan Jaskot @MeaganJaskot]

Finding out about this two days too late. Nobody speak to me I’m mourning.

[The Paris Theater @ParisTheaterNYC]

Join us April 3 for GREY GARDENS, the inaugural film in our new series Academy Museum Branch Selects, with films hand-picked by each branch of @TheAcademy.

GREY GARDENS was chosen by the documentary branch. Co-presented by The @AcademyMuseum.
🎟️ https://t.co/QPlu6oouG1

[Meagan Jaskot @MeaganJaskot]

Gay people are like “she saved my life” and it’s Miss Grotke from Recess

[Megan Stollsteimer @MeganStolli]

Why everybody pretending nitro cold brew is delicious when it is bad

[Meagan Jaskot @MeaganJaskot]

Pretty clear the only “great benefit” they’ve seen over the years is profit. What stage of rainbow capitalism is it when pride night has gotten too gay?

[Meagan Jaskot @MeaganJaskot]

I lack in growth but not in taste

[Meagan Jaskot @MeaganJaskot]

Katniss Everdeen after they killed Lenny Kravitz

[Meagan Jaskot @MeaganJaskot]

@LindseyHein @JayScotts819 Erin Jaskot, Tatnall!

[Meagan Jaskot @MeaganJaskot]

@jameswb94 Not you, too!

[Meagan Jaskot @MeaganJaskot]

I just found out that Cheer Up Charlie is my girlfriend’s fav part of Willy Wonka, so we unfortunately have to break up.

[Meagan Jaskot @MeaganJaskot]

@arrrlynnn Thank youuu ❤️❤️❤️

[Meagan Jaskot @MeaganJaskot]

Scenes from my local polling place

Conservatives: They’re indoctrinating our children!!
Also conservatives:
#ElectionDay

[Meagan Jaskot @MeaganJaskot]

Me: Follow the science!
Also me: credits my good health to my Himalayan salt lamp.

[Meagan Jaskot @MeaganJaskot]

Hello Fresh recipes are like:
1. Take out every bowl in your kitchen.
2. Take out every pot in your kitchen.
3. Take out every pan in your kitchen.

[Meagan Jaskot @MeaganJaskot]

My 99 year old polish landlord thinks me and my (also gay) roommate Tom are a nice young married couple. She loves us.

We’ve kept up the charade for 2 years to ensure rent stays low. She saw me kiss my girlfriend this morning. I’m screaming crying throwing up.

[Meagan Jaskot @MeaganJaskot]

@K_Gaffs I love you

[Meagan Jaskot @MeaganJaskot]

I fear I may have eaten a regular burger instead of an impossible burger at LAX.
Apologies in advance to all fellow passengers, as we will inevitably need an emergency landing in approx. 2 hours.

[Maria Starr @TheMariaStarr]

Women: “I go running at 4am bc I have to get my kids up at 5 & be out the door at 6 to get them to daycare & me to work on time. I cannot go after work bc my kids have sports.”

Society: wow that’s impressive

*gets kidnapped*

Society: well shouldn’t have been running so early

[Meagan Jaskot @MeaganJaskot]

@bettsoff RIP, Ferg-man. Gone but not forgotten 💙

[Meagan Jaskot @MeaganJaskot]

The American education system is like “Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell and William Howard Taft got stuck in a bathtub! Godspeed with your taxes tho”