LevelZeroEms

Memes. Merch. Dysfunctional family support through dark humor and trying to keep corporate EMS accountable.

[LevelZeroEms @MeatBolus]

Level Zero 3.0 is live! Now more betterer, with international shipping, gift certificates and free shipping on decals.

Oh yeah, GCS16 coffee is back as well

#ems #firstresponder #smallbusiness #coffee #moralepatches #zerofucks

[LevelZeroEms @MeatBolus]

#emsweek

[LevelZeroEms @MeatBolus]

#ems

[LevelZeroEms @MeatBolus]

Happy Mother's Day to all the single moms in EMS.

#mothersday

[LevelZeroEms @MeatBolus]

Got our first C&D letter today. You might notice a design or two gone from our website. But that doesn't matter, I'm excited to frame and hang this one up next to our letter from amr's lawyers

[LevelZeroEms @MeatBolus]

My favorite part of Star Wars is when Darth Kussmaul rips off his CPAP to tell EMT Skywalker that he's a DNR

#MayTheFourthDay

[LevelZeroEms @MeatBolus]

Have tinnitis from years of running lights and sirens? Cure it by squeezing your taint between the thumb and forefinger from the inside and hold slight pressure for 60 seconds. Focus on your breathing. Do it 2x a day for 30 days. If you can't reach ask your partner for help.

[LevelZeroEms @MeatBolus]

Don't take this product if you are allergic to this product. Side effects may include dizziness, inflammation of the fupa, taint rot, ocular priapism, a sudden overwhelming feeling of ennui or total disassociation with reality. Common side effects include diarrhea and soul death

[LevelZeroEms @MeatBolus]

If we performed crics as often as medical dramas seem to suggest, a few of you might actually be good at it.

[LevelZeroEms @MeatBolus]

Bro, you can't be O.D'n right now. You feel me? I ain't trying to get EMS mogged. That's going to spike my cortisol FR FR.

#Clavicular

[LevelZeroEms @MeatBolus]

It's estimated that by the time a person is 80 years old they have spoken anywhere from 250-300 million words. No wonder I'm so tired of talking to these fucking people.

#SuperFluid2026
#ems

[LevelZeroEms @MeatBolus]

Jelly Roll makes music for people with 4 cars in the driveway who call 911 for hiccups

#IranWar

[LevelZeroEms @MeatBolus]

At least once a tour I look at my partner and say "We have the stupidest job"

[LevelZeroEms @MeatBolus]

If you tell your patients today that they're not going to make it, it's okay as long as you follow up with "April fools!"

[LevelZeroEms @MeatBolus]

Told y'all I wasn't Banksy

[LevelZeroEms @MeatBolus]

Things they don't teach in medic school:
When patching to the ED for a PT with a priapism, make sure you've obtained a penile blood pressure. Use an appropriately sized child BP-cuff. The receiving doctor will be impressed with your assessment skills

#EMS

[LevelZeroEms @MeatBolus]

I was talking to someone yesterday about the stories of my childhood shenanigans that we often talked about on our podcast. I want to hear what kind of neighborhood mayhem you all got up to when you were kids.

[LevelZeroEms @MeatBolus]

Every time my patient says their pain is a 6 or 7 I see my kid's stupid-ass goofy grin

[LevelZeroEms @MeatBolus]

We should only get three mic clicks per week, but they should shock whatever dispatcher is on the radio.

[LevelZeroEms @MeatBolus]

What's wrong, hero? You've barely touched your lift assist.

[LevelZeroEms @MeatBolus]

"I didn't know EMT and Paramedic weren't the same thing"

What else does the general public not know about EMS ?

#EMS