MebsHoff

The human rice cake

[abby govindan @abbygov]

proposing a 5th wave of feminism that’s like “ok we tried the whole ‘women can do anything’ thing and it turns out it’s true but now we’ve decided we just don’t want to”

[MebsHoff @MebsHoff]

@loooneymooney @ktleescott97 @tacobell Right?! Like it just isn't that hard.

[gabe bergado @gabebergado]

when more vaccination appointments are added

[¿alex? @hoemoticon]

$25 $30
+$5 shipping + $0 shipping

[helena riley @freshhel]

Goldilocks was crazy I love her..imagine breaking into someones house and being like. Umm this chair fucking sucks

[Sara @wolvestwtsara]

seasonal depression seems fake until it’s randomly 50 degrees in March and you feel like you just popped a molly

[MebsHoff @MebsHoff]

I'll always regret not fully embracing the goth kid I wanted to be because I was a pussy.

[MebsHoff @MebsHoff]

@RealJ_O Those are 🔥

[MebsHoff @MebsHoff]

If it doesn't hurt a little, the shower is not hot enough.

[President Biden Archived @POTUS46Archive]

We're back in the Paris Climate Agreement.

[MebsHoff @MebsHoff]

If I had to choose to OD on anything, it would be garlic.

[Laura Peek @laurapeek_]

happy birthday Dolly Parton!! I will honor her, like I do every year, by having huge boobs and being nice

[Reeezy @MsReeezy]

Bernie dressed like the inauguration is on his to do list today but ain’t his whole day.

[pierce @piercespears]

this was in the Bible I think

[MebsHoff @MebsHoff]

I swear to God, Pedialyte can cure the cancer.

[MebsHoff @MebsHoff]

I had a dream my mom said "I SAW YOUR ONLYFANS😡" and it turned out that someone made me one without my knowledge but it was just videos of me roller blading and the camera zooming in on my butt.

[MebsHoff @MebsHoff]

The heartbreak when you get gas for the first time in 2 weeks and forget to clean your nasty ass windows. Like, I'm not going back, they'll have to wait.

[jon drake @DrakeGatsby]

Them: I hope this email finds you well.

Me: *eating bagel bites in my pajamas at 4 PM* It does not