i haven't used adderall in probably 2 months at this point and i can say with certainty it has irreparably altered my brain composition. not inherently a bad thing. im kind of like that guy in that one movie about the drug that makes you really smart... except i jerk off
It's dangerous for me to be like this. Not because I am lucid, not because I am reckless. Not because of anything really, other than the fact that I am capable of completely altering my entire life in a way currently unbeknownst to me. That thing, that idea, it fractures a man.
i'm not the man i was 72 hours ago. i am a mercenary, i am the man on the television screen. i Look in the mirror And i dont See the little boy any more. I get scared of that kind of thing. What if i Lose every trace of who and What i Was. What then?