Manny Chey and Emily will be pleased to know that next week I will be providing them with a video of my big toe nail being pulled off by a doctor .,,,the countdown behinds
As a man that has done this years ago and scared the hoes, trust me when I say I felt homosexual right after. Even the DJ was disappointed in my actions
my dad thinks he's losing his hearing because my mom keeps talking about birds, dogs, and people making noise outside, but he doesn't hear anything. as it turns out, the noises aren't real and his hearing is fine. he just forgot my mom is schizophrenic
Some guy pulled up to the World Cup event in a MAGA hat to harass the Mexico supporters and a bunch of Korean dudes stepped up and almost jumped him. This is the closest we’ve ever been to world peace 😭
Roomate who's never brought a guy home brought a 5'5 bald and bearded guy who's built like a brick wall but didn't tell me so I'm dancing in the kitchen with my headphones on and I just see out of the corner of my eye what I thought was a dwarf from the hobbit and screamed
will never forget the late night uber driver telling me they died so fast they don’t get to go to heaven; they just became nothing. really wish i knew more of his theories.
hm but did you consider there were 2 guys who worked at the victoria secret in the mall when i was growing up and they were so bad at their jobs every high school girl knew their shifts were heist time