@carpeur_diem *cracks start to form as I fight harder to stay. I don't want to leave Arlo. I fought so hard to come back him, even when I thought I made him up. The Author insists this is the only way. I can't win a fight against the fear of such a creature.*
*I don't feel the cold. Stone isn't a great conductor of heat. My own feelings, of childlike wonder, are buried under the fear of the ancient being inside my head, in control of my body*
@carpeur_diem "Humanity's 'best behavior' leaves a lot to be desired, and has changed over the years. I will comply with your terms. I have seen all that Earth has to offer. I need more."
*I wasn't scared before, which the Author considered foolish. I'm scared now* Y-Y-y... *even trapped in my mind, I'm stumbling over words, too scared to make sense. This can't be happening. You can't be here. I'm safe here, aren't I? Trapped, but safe.*
@carpeur_diem *my eyes darting back and forth are the only indication that I am awake and fighting, but I'm losing. The Mask thinks this is the only way to stay safe, but it's no way to live.*
@carpeur_diem *I wish I could answer, but my mouth is solid stone. I can't move a muscle, because there are no muscles left. Just a statue, with eyes to look around, terrified of what may come.*
@4everfangirlin *I haven't seen flowers in so long. Maybe they were in some of my stories at the start, but memories of memories become distorted. I feel the petals. Smell the flowers. It's a little overwhelming, but they're real. That means more than I can say.*
*I catch the sunglasses, grateful for something to hide behind. Wearing them makes me feel a little braver, although this is still terrifying. To think, I used to want to explore. Not any more.*
*I desperately want that, I just don't know if I'm capable any more. Even standing up, trying to take a step, it feels too open, too vulnerable. I'm so scared. Scared of how badly I want that.
I silently nod.*
I w-w-w... I... *I've been silent for so long, I'd forgotten how frustrating it is to try and talk, to stumble over the words so badly I can't move onto the next one. I don't want Arlo to think I'm not trying though.*
... *still trying to process that word, "outside", and that Arlo is actually real, and not the fictional character in so many of my stories. I want it to be real, so I can't do anything to shatter that illusion*
*my phone is on mute, not even on vibrate because that was too scary. I see the message flash up. Even as dim as my phone can go, it's still too bright for my eyes. I squint, using all my strength to read. I have no strength to respond.*
*it still feel like it's the ONLY place. It's the only place that feels real. The outside world feels like a story, messy and loud and uncontrollable. I feel better here.*