Megan Olson

[Megan Olson @MegEOlson42]

Some people need to call their moms to bail them out of jail at a bachelorette party. I called mine to ask how to get a stain out of a white comforter because I slept with a chocolate chip cookie in my hand.

[Megan Olson @MegEOlson42]

@CheyCab You were our go-to back in the day to get to the Wild Onion!

[Megan Olson @MegEOlson42]

Hear me out.. the new @NickCannon game show.. is the premier date on April Fools Day? I need answers.

[Megan Olson @MegEOlson42]

@JillKad JOHN. The first time? What?!

[Megan Olson @MegEOlson42]

I currently have 6 frozen pizzas on hand. I live alone. Is this meal prepping? #NewYearSameMe

[Megan Olson @MegEOlson42]

Tonight for my midnight snack, I brought chili and red wine to the living room and dropped it on my carpet. I am in utter shock that my strategic stacking of dangerous liquids failed me. Have I learned from my mistake? Absolutely not.

[Megan Olson @MegEOlson42]

The local liquor store clerk greets me by name now. At least I have that going for me.

[Megan Olson @MegEOlson42]

@JillKad First round on me!

[Megan Olson @MegEOlson42]

@daveryankdwb How could I forget! Every time something is labeled easy to open I stop and think.. I wonder if Dave agrees 😊

[Megan Olson @MegEOlson42]

Hey @daveryankdwb - remember how you shared your experiences with items that claim to be easy to open? I think you should revive this with items that have packaging claiming to be resealable. I fight to seal shredded cheese bags every single time.

[Megan Olson @MegEOlson42]

@JillKad Tell her to send it my way!

[Megan Olson @MegEOlson42]

As a Minnesotan, it too much to ask to find an everyday moisturizer for sensitive skin that both has sunscreen and repels bugs? I would pay top dollar to bathe in it every summer day.

[Megan Olson @MegEOlson42]

Clearing all plans for Friday and Saturday nights for the summer, I will be parked in front of my TV.

[Sean Larkin @Sean_C_Larkin]

You read it right! It's been a very lonnnnngggg process but our Friday and Saturday nights get to be shared together once again! 'On Patrol: Live' will air on the Reelz channel very soon, so get your crew ready by spreading the word. Full article at https://t.co/U1fziA8YKG

[Megan Olson @MegEOlson42]

Either someone in my neighborhood is playing Party in the USA or I have completely lost my mind. The scenarios are equally possible.

[Megan Olson @MegEOlson42]

@JillKad @PowerTripKFAN Excellent news!!

[Megan Olson @MegEOlson42]

My mom just kissed my dad’s head and said goodnight. He responded with “stay golden pony boy” and that’s exactly why I’ll be the weirdest in my marriage.

[Megan Olson @MegEOlson42]

Last week, I wanted a breakfast sandwich maker. This week, a pizza oven. Could I afford both? Maybe. Are they both practical? Sure. Do I have space in my kitchen for either? Absolutely not.

[Megan Olson @MegEOlson42]

@JillKad Ride the wave babe.

[Megan Olson @MegEOlson42]

The liquor store clerk suggested I watch #TournamentofChampions and I am absolutely not disappointed. I take a lot of life advice from that man.

[Megan Olson @MegEOlson42]

Does everyone check the county jail roster multiple times each week? Or is that that just something I picked up from my dad?