Megan

Aspiring stay-at-home cat lady battling an ever-encroaching lactose intolerance. Exasperated retail manager.

[Megan @MeganTriumphant]

@itsmaddiemack It’s truly the worst part of having a dog. The more interesting, unique, or cute the worse it is. Really ugly or mean looking are the best deterrents. Next best would be very generic mutt. Good luck; it’s rough out here for us introverts. 😭

[Megan @MeganTriumphant]

@SpenserTheGreat This is a new level of unacceptable

[Megan @MeganTriumphant]

@9_of_Swords @SWilliamBrown33 Had a TM grumble she wanted to go home one day, and I told her she could leave early if she wanted (it was slow) and she was like, “Wait, no.” You tell me you want more hours, if I have them I’ll give them you. Don’t ask if you don’t want.

[Megan @MeganTriumphant]

@JennyENicholson lol the only reason I haven’t already canceled my Netflix sub is because my mom pays for half of it so she can use it too. So much for that!

[Megan @MeganTriumphant]

@AuthorJFuller The covers of the battery compartments on all the remotes. Tupperware lids. Can opener.

[Megan @MeganTriumphant]

@upstreamculotte Ox lower ales

So I guess…also joining the farm and drinking less? I’m down 🤷🏻‍♀️

[Megan @MeganTriumphant]

@SpenserTheGreat What.

[Megan @MeganTriumphant]

@PutMe_In_Coach That sounds so good 😍

[Megan @MeganTriumphant]

@itsmaddiemack #wetatertothotdish and Too Intelligent are my best ones

[Megan @MeganTriumphant]

@SpenserTheGreat The optimistic part of me thinks maybe they meant to use “orchestrate” but the realist in me knows they didn’t 😭

[Kristen Arnett @Kristen_Arnett]

in all seriousness my girlfriend has decided to roast a twenty pound bird tomorrow for our meal and the guest list includes the two of us and possibly the dog (who has not yet confirmed)

[or just maddie @itsmaddiemack]

In college i slept 4 hours a night (half the time still wearing makeup), drank no water, ate mostly breakfast sandwiches, and was mean. And my skin was GLOWING. What has happened.

[Megan @MeganTriumphant]

@thebannabee @natural_strap @LaShundraNelso1 @colbiechristian I was sobbing while they triaged me for a a broken wrist at the ER and the (male) triage nurse told me I needed to calm down. It was the worst pain I’d ever been in, and I was on the verge of a panic attack. Weirdly, I didn’t feel calm.

[girlpilled @upstreamculotte]

starting a podcast with the woman who lives in my wallpaper

[Megan @MeganTriumphant]

@tharyanking @dr_paging @kareece3 @micsolana There’s actually no official certification for service animals in the US. The ADA requires them to be well-mannered and perform tasks that mitigate their handler’s disability, but there is no registration or certification.

[girlpilled @upstreamculotte]

i bet i will feel better if i spend money i dont have

[Megan @MeganTriumphant]

@Emir_ofOwerri @Bamid1Sylvester @ashnkrause @Peds_Ortho Physical therapy

[Megan @MeganTriumphant]

@Andresbv @ashnkrause @Peds_Ortho Physical therapy

[Megan @MeganTriumphant]

@DrakeGatsby They delivered my package to the wrong building a while back, and the business gave it back to them, and instead of literally just bringing the package ACROSS THE PARKING LOT, they sent it back to the warehouse on the other side of the country, and it took another week to get it.

[Megan @MeganTriumphant]

@ashnkrause @Peds_Ortho I know that’s not evidence and is just one anecdote, but I’ve been going to chiropractors since middle school for various issues and PT is the only thing that ever had lasting results. Chiro just feels good in the moment.

[Megan @MeganTriumphant]

@ashnkrause @Peds_Ortho FWIW, I’ve been going to the chiropractor twice a month for two years now. I’ve had recurring back pain for years. Hurt myself so badly in Feb I could barely walk by April, chiro did NOTHING but provide temporary relief. I’ve been in PT 10 weeks now & am pain free most days.