marxist-Muad’Dibist

[Leonid @politbureaucrat]

Perry the Platypus was a reactionary agent of the bourgeois state repressive apparatus against a utopian socialist inventor.

[jp @inflammateomnia]

Quitting nicotine is only a problem for guys who are too in touch with their feelings, a normal dude won't even notice the sudden urge to kill himself. This is also why meditation is a mixed bag

[tabitha arnold @thetolerantweft]

stopping myself from texting my crush by repeating “the Chinese think in centuries”

[Sami Gold @souljagoyteller]

Thinking about how Nixon’s favorite party trick was asking guests to name a country and then describing to those guests the entire political situation of said country

[johntheman_heiscome_heisme_PREACHTRUTHILLUMINATIPl @heiscomeheisme]

DRIVING IS A BATTLE OF WILLS BETWEEN YOUR DESIRE TO SAFELY REACH YOUR DESTINATION AND THE CARS DESIRE TO HAVE A GLORIOUS DEATH ... THIS IS WHY YOU MUST NEVER DRIVE AN AUTOMATIC, OR HEAVEN FORBID, A "SELF DRIVING" CAR

[doomer @uncledoomer]

shes just momslop bro. you only love her because shes your mom.

[Franki V. D. @frankidacre]

It’s too dangerous to go alone. Take this.

[will @w1lld0mk3]

When a word in Spanish is a little Arabic

[Cedar You @our_decay]

Every man believes he could have passed the Chinese imperial civil service exam and become a scholar-bureaucrat

[birdbath @birdbath]

They should make a dating app just for guys who will eat pussy for like an hour in exchange for a hot meal or the girl will let him sleep in her car or on her couch for the night. They should invent a God that isn't cruel

[Berwyn Choobs @sabatonfan69]

This image has left me emotional. There are tears in my eyes

[Boots, 'with the fur' @afraidofwasps]

You're sending her pictures of two bunnies cuddling with the caption "Us." I'm sending a married woman a PDF of Chekhov's The Lady with the Dog and saying "Bound we are by the chains that Bind." We are the exact same level of horny, almost to the microgram

[Debbie Downer @ANGELBABYBITTY]

Going on a 10 mile walk so I dont harm myself or others

[marxist-Muad’Dibist @MeisterSwagger]

silence gooner, a real semen retentionist is speaking

[Mr. Baseball @MisterBaseball0]

Baseball tip: They hate you. They want to see you face down in the dirt. Make them suffer.

[Mart @Martposting]

My heart is the most sensitive in the world and no woman will never ever ever understand me