One of the big things I realized when I started dating my current gf is that my ex was right to complain about this.
Turns out it wasn’t ADHD or unreasonable expectations. I was capable of being spontaneously considerate the entire time. I just didn’t love her enough 🤷♂️
One of my favorite parts of having adhd is how failing yourself numerous times every single day on a micro level infinitely reinforces the self-hate neural pathways until they are so strong that even your high-achieving perfectionism and severe anxiety can’t balance them out so you’re just perpetually disappointed in yourself and convinced you’re incapable no matter what you achieve
You deserve a calm love with someone who gives you best friend energy, makes you laugh, and never stops flirting with you. Someone who learns your love language just to treat you right and make you feel loved properly.
I have some really good friends. I have a standing coffee date with someone who shares poetry with me.
I’ve been seeing my middle school best friend.
Someone took me for drinks tonight and made me remember how valued I am.
And others. And it’s good.
i always told myself that if someone happened to ask the right question that all the years of silence would untie themselves and i could finally be both loved and known. but i never found those things to be capable of coexisting. not for me