Melanie Smolter

I’d like to thank my dog for hearing all the nonsense I’m too embarrassed to tweet. #LGP

[Melanie Smolter @MelanieSmolter]

@UmActuallyShow We’re all waiting for the #romantasy episode.

[Melanie Smolter @MelanieSmolter]

But for real, @Fandango is winning the TikTok final bow.

[Melanie Smolter @MelanieSmolter]

I see you @TBDBITL playing Fat Bottom Girls at the Rose Bowl.

[Melanie Smolter @MelanieSmolter]

As if we aren’t stressed enough, the @penguins gives us a shootout. 🫠

[Melanie Smolter @MelanieSmolter]

I never knew my insomnia could miss something until I found The Bob’s Burgers Movie is back on Disney.

[Melanie Smolter @MelanieSmolter]

All I really want to see is Kamala Harris’s social team play smash or pass with the VP contenders to announce her running mate.

[Melanie Smolter @MelanieSmolter]

I can’t decide what is more irritating: my mom watching tiktoks at full volume for over an hour or when we were kids, my dad playing every ringtone over and over again to wake us up.

[Melanie Smolter @MelanieSmolter]

I’d punch someone in the face for an iced coffee delivered to my parents’ house.

[Melanie Smolter @MelanieSmolter]

Sometimes I just sit and think about all the musicians that would have appeared on One Tree Hill if it was filmed today.

[Melanie Smolter @MelanieSmolter]

Who else is waiting for JJ Watt to finish #ACOTAR?

[Melanie Smolter @MelanieSmolter]

Dugan is doing a great job distracting me today knowing the Pens aren’t in the Stanley Cup Playoffs.

[Melanie Smolter @MelanieSmolter]

LETS GOOOOOOOO

[Pittsburgh Penguins @penguins]

TWO POINTS FOR PITTSBURGH! 🙌

[Melanie Smolter @MelanieSmolter]

We can only hope that @JJWatt will join the #ACOTAR side of TikTok and document his journey through the SJM universe.

[JJ Watt @JJWatt]

Kealia swears by it.

I have no idea what I’m getting myself into…

[Melanie Smolter @MelanieSmolter]

Started off Women’s History Month with the news that SJM had coffee with Margot Robbie and all the book babes are losing their minds.

[Melanie Smolter @MelanieSmolter]

If I was Clarence Thomas I’d take the motor coach from @LastWeekTonight simply for the refrigerator filled with LaCroix Pure.

[Melanie Smolter @MelanieSmolter]

There are celebrity memoirs and then there is Molly Shannon’s memoir.

[Melanie Smolter @MelanieSmolter]

Getting my car battery replaced and my dad taunts me by saying it is karma for stealing his electric coffee grinder.

What he failed to mention is the coffee grinder in question was nearly 10 years old.

And it died 3 months after I stole it. 😒

[Melanie Smolter @MelanieSmolter]

If I wasn’t already crying over fictional men with wings, I certainly am over Fleury’s 1000th game.

#FlowerForever #LGP

[Melanie Smolter @MelanieSmolter]

@muniz_steph Jake gives me all the Nesta vibes. On Sid’s line, training, and bound to be a legend.

[Melanie Smolter @MelanieSmolter]

Cassian would be the Sidney Crosby of his team if Illyrians played hockey and you can’t convince me otherwise.

#ACOTAR

[Melanie Smolter @MelanieSmolter]

@muniz_steph I’ve thought about this so much.

Cassian is Crosby: strategic, committed to his craft, trains others.

Azriel is Letang: swift, smart, gets in fights when he is triggered.

Rhys is Malkin: not always around but when he shows up it’s to dominate and talk shit.

A magical trio.

[Melanie Smolter @MelanieSmolter]

@muniz_steph Azriel hands down.